


Feelings bouquet

by truskawki



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Crushes, Domestic, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Multi, Polyamory, Recreational Drug Use, Strangers to Friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:34:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 32,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26855296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truskawki/pseuds/truskawki
Summary: A Dream Team College AU where they all meet at the same time. Clay moves to Texas to start college and shares a dorm with Nick and George. (Love and) Chaos coexisting ensues.…OR.... A Texan weeb, a British tsundere and a Florida man living together in a dorm, what will they do?
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 169
Kudos: 890





	1. Daffodils

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven't written fanfiction in 4 years so feeling really rusty at the moment, but I hope to get used to writing again with time !  
> Although this first chapter is kind of boring at first because I’m mostly laying out the base for this fic, I hope you guys stick by because it gets interesting ✨
> 
> As a side note, the rating on this fic and all the tags will be updated as I post more chapters ! The only thing I'm saying in advance is that this story IS gonna end up with Dream, Sapnap and George on a poly relationship, that's why the tag is there, just so people don't expect one thing and find another lol  
> If that is not your cup of tea, just kindly leave ! :)

It was kind of shocking.

Truthfully, nobody really expected Clay to leave, let alone to leave after a big argument, given that he was the type to argue until you couldn’t get enough of his twisted, yet ingenious, logic and admitted defeat.

There was something different this time, however, that made a spark inside him burn with strength. He was used to arguing with his parents, having them meddle on his life decisions on a daily basis, it wasn't anything new.

Then why did he feel the need to rebel in such a way? To pack up everything he had and move to another state? Well, Clay wasn’t sure. He told himself it was about time to experience living alone, that he had been saving up money from his badly paid jobs for this moment, that he needed some space to start anew after a year of feeling lost and unsure about his future.

  
He had decided he wanted to go to a university, to major in computer science as it was something he really liked and could see himself doing without getting tired of it. He was good at it too. So good, in fact, that he had been creating plugins for a couple games he liked to play, he definitely was sure about this decision.

His parents were happy to see him finally making up his mind, but the arguments started when he told them that he had planned to take all his classes online at his own pace from home. It was like going back to the begining of highschool all over again: trying to reason with his parents that he was able to study by himself at a faster pace than having to lose time going to and coming back from a place that didn't cater to his abilities. Back then it didn't work out, but he was not going to let his parents decide for him again.

After two weeks of yelling, banging doors with resolve and silent treatment from both parties, his younger sister suggested him to move out. Clay was sure that her idea was nothing more than a joke, but it was the push he didn’t know he needed to commit to that decision.

It felt liberating in a weird way, for him who, as a rule, would plan carefully his actions rather than rushing and going along with his impulses. He knew his outbursts were dangerous (many times he had been told so), and thus he always tried his best to retreat and reconsider his future actions before he could accidentally commit to something he would later regret.

  
But Clay felt that he needed something new. Far away from all that he has once known and grown around. He loved Florida, he loved his friends and he loved his younger siblings. Yet leaving all that behind triggered an euphoric feeling within him that he had been yearning for a long time. New people in a new place, a new life, made by himself alone, with no restrictions or judgment from anyone known.

He was accepted into the university of Houston, and even though he wasn’t particularly familiar with Texas, he decided to go along with it. He booked a place in a small dorm with two other students, bought a one way plane ticket and packed almost everything he had. Seeing all his belongings in just a couple boxes made him tear up, mixed feelings starting to bloom in his heart.

In just a week he had planned the next four years of his life, in another state, with no guarantee of finding a part-time job to help him afford the dorm he was going to be renting, not even the reassurance that he was going to feel content with the place, or the city, or the career he had envisioned studying.

  
He cried for a long time the night before his flight. He could only fall asleep once he heard his sister, holding his baby brother's hands, open the door and sneak into his bed, his sister hugging him from behind, and his brother slotting himself in Clay's arms. She made him promise to call her weekly, and send them gifts even more often. Clay giggled softly and finally relaxed enough to fall asleep.

His parents bitterly accepted to drop him at the airport the next morning. Clay couldn’t find it in himself to care or feel hurt. He hugged them, his sister and brother goodbye, and boarded his flight.

...

Clay wasn’t sure what he was expecting once he arrived to Houston. There were no party poppers exploding in his face once he stepped outside the airport, or a groundbreaking feeling of freedom after breathing deeply and walking up to the uber he had called.

His new address felt strange in his mouth, he hoped he could get used to it soon. The driver tried to make some small talk with Clay, who wasn’t particularly paying attention to anything but the city passing by through the window.

Once he arrived at his new address, a tall building, he checked on his phone the floor number and the dorm letter that his landlord had messaged him, and pushed the button on the doorbell awaiting for one of his roommates to reply.

“Yes?” A low voice was heard.

“Hello! It’s the new roommate?" replied Clay, trying to sound friendly and upbeat. The last thing he wanted was to cause a bad impression despite how tired he felt.

“Oooh yes yes, come up, man! I was waiting for you!” replied back the voice.

Immediately after, the glass door beeped and Clay was able to enter. He handled as best as he could his two big suitcases into the elevator, and pressed the 9th floor’s button.

As soon as the elevator door opened, a guy slightly shorter than him but robust, greeted him cheerfully.

“Hey dude! Want me to help you with a suitcase?” He had a bright smile and deep blue eyes that caught Clay’s attention immediately. He hold his hand to Clay.

“Yes, actually! Thanks… uh…” Clay hesitated, unsure of the other’s name, shaking his hand briefly.

“Nick!” answered Nick at once, “and you are…?”

In a split of second, Clay’s mind went through several thoughts. He couldn’t say exactly what made him come up with the idea of giving away a made up name rather than his real one, but it was probably equal parts of wanting to mess around with Nick, and wanting to satiate his hunger for that new life he was about to start.

“Dream” said Clay with more confidence than he should have felt capable of, given that he was lying on the spot. He loved his new name as soon as he had said it out loud. “My name’s Dream.”

Nick, who was carrying one of Clay’s suitcases into the dorm, paused and turned around, arching an eyebrow.

“You’re cappin’, right?” He said in a disbelieved tone, clearly holding a laugh. Clay stopped too, midway through the doorway.

“I am not!” He giggled, and the other giggled softly too. “I am being serious! Blame my parents, crazy floridians, you know…”

Nick laughed this time with more force.

“Alright, alright… If you say so!” Nick turned around and continued through the dorm guiding Clay to his bedroom. “You’re lucky, man, you got a bedroom all for yourself” commented Nick, leaving one of Clay’s suitcases in the center of a bedroom, now Clay’s bedroom.

All the boxes with his stuff had already arrived before him and were scattered around the room. Cleaning up and organizing his bedroom was not what he had in mind for his first few days in Houston... it truly was going to be a hell of a weekend.

“You share your bedroom?” asked Clay, leaving his other suitcase next to the one Nick had carried.

“Yup, I’m sharin’ it with the exchange student!” Nick paused, looking around Clay’s room, barely furnished with a mattress and a wardrobe on it, now adorned with beaten up boxes of different sizes. “You know? Your room may be smaller than ours, obviously, but at least you can jerk off in peace” and then he laughed loudly, prompting a loud wheeze from Clay.

  
“Well… That _is_ rough…” noted Clay, still giggling. Then, he asked with curiosity, “Where’s the exchange student from?”

“Oh, he’s british” replied Nick, sitting on Clay’s bare mattress, mindlessly playing with his mess of black curls, trying to keep them under control with the white bandana on his head, as Clay started to move a couple boxes around. “His name’s George, he is like, pocket sized but don't be fooled, he’s older than me!”

“Oh? How old are you?”

“Guess” Nick gave Clay a sly smile, winking when he turned around to face him.

Clay considered for a moment. Nick didn’t look distinctly young, although his softly tanned skin could trick easily. However, he had a subtle stubble, and his body proportions were quite big. Clay would have assumed him to be in his mid twenties.

“Twenty five?” ventured Clay.

“Nah, I'm nineteen!” and he laughed again. Clay felt he could get used to that laugh, it was extremely contagious. He was starting to feel really excited. At least one of his roommates seemed to be pretty nice, he hoped the exchange student was entertaining too.

“So how old is George then?”

“He's twenty three, what about you?”

“I'm turning twenty in a week”

“That's a shame, I guess only Georgie can get us alcohol for your birthday then” And both of them laughed in unison this time.

After that first short lived conversation, Nick handed Clay the dorm's keys and added him into a group chat with him and George. "For emergencies and stuff" he explained. He then proceeded to run to his shared bedroom, and quickly came out freshly dressed with a backpack on hand. "Gotta go work!" and disappeared through the main door waving Clay goodbye and leaving him alone at the dorm.

In silence and complete solitude, Clay allowed himself to look around the dorm calmly. He found the living room small but cozy, with a sofa suitable for exactly three people to fit in, a PlayStation 4 next to a big television hanging on one of the walls, a coffee table in between the sofa and the TV with a Thrasher hoodie on top, a Nintendo switch next to it, and a pile of cables hiding what seemed to be a laptop.

The kitchen was open to the living room, with a small isle with three stools. When Clay opened the refrigerator, he snorted loudly realising that out of the three shelves, only one was filled with food. A second one was probably empty for him to fill up, and the last one only contained a half eaten yogurt, a ketchup bottle and three eggs.

The cabinets around didn't seem to have a lot of food either. He found the cutlery drawer, and the tableware on a high cupboard near the sink, which was filled with a couple of dirty dishes. The counter seemed clean in comparison, an electric kettle, a coffee machine, a toaster and a microwave ubicated on the side. The coffee machine seemed to have been used a lot, he could tell he wasn't going to be the only one with a messed up sleeping schedule.

Clay checked the hour on his phone. It was almost midday and he was starting to get hungry, he probably would eat out since grocery shopping seemed tiresome at the time. He also had a couple text messages from a group chat, the one Nick had added him to with him and George.

**nick added xxx-xxx-xxxx**

**+44 xxxx xxxxxx**

| Hello, you must be the new roommate, right?

| I’m George, what’s your name?

Automatic capitalization ON? Really? Clay smiled to himself, it was going to be fun having around a British guy to tease around, he couldn’t wait to hear his accent. He quickly changed George’s phone number to his name before replying.

** You **

| hey, im dream

George seemed to be online because he replied almost instantly.

** george **

| "Dream"? Really?

** You **

| yeah, what about it?

** george **

| It’s a curious name to say the least

** nick **

| i bet u its not his real name

| he is lyiiinggggg

Clay opened one of his suitcases, taking a towel and thrashing around for his deodorant, body gel and shampoo.

** You **

| im telling you, it’s my name lol

| idk what to tell you

** nick **

| k keep it to urself

| i'll figure it out eventually!!

** george **

| Well, this is going to be interesting

...

After his shower, Clay got dressed and left the dorm, heading to the center of the city as he remembered from his trip at his uber that morning.

** You **

| any of you guys can tell me a good place to eat out?

| nick i rely on you, i doubt georgie will know

Nick’s and George’s responses were almost instantaneous.

** george **

| “Georgie”??

** nick **

| i know a place

| here ya go [ _Open with Maps_ ]

** You **

| thanksss

Clay returned his phone to his back pocket, ignoring how it vibrated a couple more times, probably more texts from his new roommates. After finding the restaurant Nick recommended, and once he had eaten, he decided to walk around the city for a while, wanting to place the university campus and some of the surrounding stores before coming back to the dorm.

One of the things that convinced him to come to Houston, was the fact that he had a nearby beach, a small reminder from Florida. It was further away from the city, and he would have needed to drive to get to it, so he made a mental note to go early in the morning whenever he had the free time and the energy. He also needed to get a car, although he hoped Nick had a car to drive him around until he could get his hands on one. His phone started to vibrate again, so he sat on a bench right outside a dog park to check it.

A couple messages from his roommates, and two from his sister.

** george **

| So you're just going to call me "Georgie"?

| Not even the most cheesy of my relatives call me that, you know

** nick **

| aaaww but georgie sounds cute

** george **

| What? No

| I'm not cute

**nick**

| dude ure like

| 5'6

** george **

| I AM 5'9

** nick **

| u got a baby face bro

| thats p cute if i say so myself

** george **

| Oh my God, SHUT UP

Clay smiled at his phone. He got the feeling he was going to love living there, he just did not know to which extent just yet.

There were some more recent texts.

** george **

| Nick, where are you?

** nick **

| working

** George **

| On your phone?

| And texting?

** nick **

| yup, boss isnt lookin

** george **

| Unbelievable

| I just got to the dorm

| Did you really leave your stinky sweatpants on my bed AGAIN?

** nick **

| srry cant talk boss came bck

** george **

| I hate you

Clay laughed so hard that an old lady passing by with her dog glared at him. He mumbled an apology and focused again on his phone, changing George's contact name once again.

** You **

| georgie, huh?

| it was more of a one-time thing

| but i'll remember to call you that more often since you seem to like it that much xD

** georgie **

| Did you just "xD" at me?

** nick **

| lmaoooooo

** georgie **

| I don't even know you and I already despise you too

** nick **

| ouch

** You **

| it doesn't get any better

| get used to it

** nick **

| oh i like this guy

_"I like you both, too"_ , thought Clay to himself. Licking his lips with enthusiasm, he got up and headed straight back to the dorms to meet George. He replied back to his sister through a call, retelling a few details of his flight and about his dorm and roommates.

Looking back at the group chat, he saw two new messages from George.

** georgie **

| I already regret picking a shared dorm

| I should have gotten a whole apartment for myself

** You **

| awww don’t say that georgieee

** georgie **

| I’m going back to London :/

Clay almost bumped into a street light, too concentrated on his phone.

** You **

| wait, don't

| i’m actually going back to the dorm

| wanna help me unpack?

** georgie **

| I have things to do, you know?

** You **

| do you really?

** georgie **

| I do

Clay didn't get to put his phone back on his pocket before it vibrated on his hand again.

** georgie **

| Hurry up

With a smile, he made sure to walk back to the dorm a little faster.

  
…

“Helloooo!” Clay greeted loudly as soon as he entered the dorm.

A slim, fair skinned guy with straight, short brown hair turned around. He was just entering the living room with some cables on his hands, stopping when he saw Clay standing on the doorway.

“Hey” He checked Clay up and down, with a slightly annoyed look on his face. “You are Dream, right? I’m George.” He extended his hand, probably hoping to greet Clay and start their coexistence on good terms.

Clay did not need to approach him to realise he was quite a few inches shorter than him, and although George clearly wasn’t short, he wasn’t that tall either. He meant to say _"Yes, I'm Dream! Nice to meet you"_. What came out instead was...

“Ah, Nick was right, you _are_ pocket sized” Clay deadpanned.

George immediately dropped his hand and frowned, grumbled “Piss off” and turned around heading to the living room. “I am not helping you unpack, just so you know!” he screamed back from the sofa.

Clay followed him to the living room, giggling under his breath, and looked at the mess that was on the low table right in front of the sofa. George was on his laptop. Next to him, there were a lot of tangled cables, some connected to his laptop, and some connected to a device that had seen better days, partially disassembled on the table. There were a couple tools for cutting and helping pick up apart the device, all scattered around the table.

“That’s, uh...” Clay started, approaching George, “that looks pretty cool, what are you exactly trying to do?”

George sighed deeply, exaggerating his annoyance at the question.

“Look, I don’t want to be mean, but I don’t think you would understand.”

Clay could recognize some pieces on the table and the program that George was working on on his laptop. He could easily infer what he was trying to do… because he had already tried the same before.

“How come?” he asked simply, choosing to play dumb.

“Because you’re not a computer engineer, obviously” George huffed, trying to focus again on what he was doing.

“And how do you know that?” Dream approached the sofa and moved some cables lying around to sit down next to George. George reflexively flinched and repositioned himself slightly away from Clay.

“You clearly are not, you wouldn’t be asking what I am doing otherwise” Replied George irritated, typing with force.

Clay observed George’s face for a moment, spacing out a little, until he was hit with a hand on his chest bringing him back.

“You should go unpack your stuff, _Dream_ ” said George when he saw Clay looking back at him slightly disoriented.

Clay smiled quietly and picked George’s laptop from his lap, ignoring the protests of the other. He started to work on the code that George was doing, and although at first George almost punched him, yelling at him to stop messing around, he soon calmed down and started to pay attention to what Clay was typing. It took a while, maybe a long one. Neither of the boys were checking the time, both were too absorbed in the code being input on the program, but soon enough Clay was giving George instructions to connect some cables, to cut some wires and change some parts on the disassembled device lying on the table.

“It works!” exclaimed George with a bright smile after the device produced a small beep, signifying his functionality. “What the hell, it really works!”

Clay smiled back and closed the laptop, leaving it on the coffee table.

“Now that you’re free, wanna help me unpack?” He said timidly. He hoped he hadn't made George too upset, commenting on his height right after meeting him, but he seemed to have already forgotten about it, simply replying with a “Sure” and making his way to Clay’s bedroom.

“So… you are a computer engineer, huh?” George tried to comment casually, but his tone was one of curiosity, so Clay felt inclined to explain himself.

“Not really? I mean, I have studied by myself some stuff, but I am actually going to major in computer science” He opened one box, the one with his Ikea desk, mentally preparing himself to reassemble it. “I take that you’re majoring in engineering?”

“Yeah, I’m in my last year. Hopefully I'll get a job here in America once I'm done.” George knelt besides him, taking some parts out of the desk to be rebuilt.

“You want to stay in America huh, not fond of tea?” Clay teased.

“Not really, I’m more of a coffee person.” answered George more seriously than what Clay intended. Or maybe he was dodging the subject. “What about you?”

“What about me? I like tea better.”

“No, I meant…” George rolled his eyes. “What are you planning to do? You’re in your last year too, right?”

“I am actually just about to start my first year.” Clay replied. “Do I look that old?” he questioned when he saw George pull a face.

“You don’t, but you seem to be annoyingly smart to be Nick’s age.”

“Rude!” Clay laughed when he heard George giggling.

“I mean, you did help me with that code I’ve been trying to make work for days now. And Nick is supposed to start engineering this year, yet he wasn’t even sure what I was trying to do.”

“I am going to be twenty soon.” Clay clarified. “And you’re welcome. You were trying to do something I tried last summer, so it wasn’t that hard.”

“Oh, did you change majors?”

“Nah, I just spent a year saving money and trying to figure what to do. My parents were okay with me going to college, but they weren’t too keen on me taking my classes online.”

“That... sounds dumb, no offence."

"None taken." interrupted Clay quickly. "I know online classes are great if you’re good at self-management, which I am." He took a deep breath. Was it too soon to start opening up to a roommate? "My parents just wanted me to go at everybody's paces I guess, be more social too; but I'm fine being by myself"

George hummed in agreement.

“Some classes are super boring at campus having to follow other's paces, you're right, I don’t know why I didn’t choose online classes too." George helped Clay position the desk's legs. "Since I moved countries for this, I guess it would be a shame to be stuck inside the flat all the time.”

Clay finished screwing the last screw, sitting down on the floor next to George.

“Yeah, I thought the same. Not all my classes are online, so I guess I will be getting some more air this year.”

“What are you? A weeb?”

George and Clay both chuckled, looking at the desk finally rebuilt. Clay wanted to position the desk next to the bed, but he needed to move the wardrobe first, and a couple of boxes to make space for it.

“Not my thing, I just have more fun by myself at home than with tons of people.”

“Same.”

A short comfortable silence. Understanding.

“And my sleeping schedule is a mess anyways." A bitter laugh. "Not anyone would be willing to go out for a walk at 1 AM or play Minecraft at 4 in the morning.”

Another pause, this time slightly awkward for Clay. He wasn't very open about his hobbies apart from sports and literature, it was odd to admit out loud he still played a game he started playing when he was 15.

“If you’re thinking about laughing, don’t.”

“I am not" George had his eyes closed and was breathing slowly, he seemed pretty calm and it soothed Clay's mind once he looked over at the British. "I also play Minecraft… although I don't think I will be going anywhere at 1 AM for a walk."

This time it was Clay who had his eyes closed while a smile made its way to his lips.

“You know, for a British you’re pretty cool.”

George didn't miss a beat.

“Thanks, for a Floridian you don’t seem that crazy yourself.”

George's giggles increased in volume as he heard Clay's kettle laugh resonate across the apartment.

After a moment, George stood up, offering a hand to Clay who took it after a short moment of surprise.

“And, you know… My sleeping schedule is messed up too, Nick’s is too for what I could tell this first week of living together. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind you knocking on our bedroom's door at 3 in the morning to play Minecraft or something else on the PS4.”

Both smiled at each other, with their hands still connected on a tight grip.

“That sounds sick, I’ll take your word for it”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... that was a start... I have the base of the second and third chapter planned, but I need to write them down and edit stuff.... I'm also on my last year of college.... so let's say next chapter will be ready in around a couple weeks... maybe...  
> Also, kudos and comments are very much appreciated to know that you guys want me to continue this <3
> 
> I appreciate very much grammatical corrections by the way !!! As I'm not a native English speaker, it's easy to misspell some things, mix prepositions and phrase things weirdly !
> 
> Until next time !!


	2. Purple lilacs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote half of this chapter on my mind at 3am. Next morning I got upset when I realised that my mind is not connected to my google drive. Rewrote the whole thing but somehow it ended differently... Yeah...
> 
> By the way, you will notice that I switch from using 'Clay' and 'Dream' at times. That is intentional! I'm writing on the third person, but at times I “get inside” someone’s head and so, since Sapnap and George only know Clay as “Dream”, that’s the name they use for him in their heads! Just a clarification ^^
> 
> Also, the rating went up because this chapter contains a lot of swearing and there is alcohol involved at the end!

The morning of his birthday Clay woke up when the sun wasn’t even up, with a headache, 6:30AM flashing on his phone’s screen. Sighing, Clay stepped out of the bed. He didn't have anything prepared for the day, but at least he knew he wanted to start it on a good note.

As he undressed to take a shower, he heard some noises coming from the kitchen. It was probably either George getting something to eat after pulling another all-nighter doing God knows what, or Nick looking for some water after an order of spicy food he got in the middle of the night. Ignoring the noise, he entered the bathroom with a towel and neatly folded, clean clothes.

  
  


Once done, Clay stepped out of the shower freshly dressed, threw his towel into the laundry basket and headed back to his room to check the time. However, Nick's voice rumbled across the whole flat and made him stop dead in his tracks.

"I TOLD YOU YOU WERE GOING TO BURN IT, JUST LET ME DO IT!"

George's voice replied back loudly too, but at a much higher pitch.

"NO! IT'S YOUR FAULT FOR DISTRACTING ME! GIVE IT BACK!"

What followed was a loud metallic noise and the sound of porcelain shattering.

Although Clay got used to and tried not to pay attention to Nick and George quarreling during his first week as roommates  — h e did, after all, grew up in a house with a strict older sister and two chaotic younger siblings  — he immediately rushed to the kitchen ready to stop whatever argument had been started so early in the morning.

His head was starting to spin again, the last thing he needed was hearing two idiots yelling at each other the whole morning while he tried to rest.  He needed a painkiller quickly, but he wasn’t sure there were any in the apartment. He was going to make his roommates shut up, check the kitchen cabinets for some pills and go back to bed.

As we all know, life hardly ever goes according to our plans.

As soon as Clay put one foot in the kitchen, he realised he had made a big mistake. His left foot found his way into a small puddle of water, which made him slip ass first into the cold tiled floor.

The first scream that was heard after he hit the floor, was not his, it was actually Nick's.

The next thing he knew, it was that his chest was burning, and that he was screaming in pain. Opening his eyes (when had he closed them?) he directed his attention to a fried egg that was hot and steaming, soaking his shirt in oil. George's left hand was casually holding a pan, while his right one was on Nick's right arm, pushing him away.

Nick was the first one to react, pushing George away and swiftly approaching Clay with a napkin to pick up the fried egg of his shirt.

“ _Holy shit_ , I’m so sorry dude!”

“I told you to just let me do it, this is your fault!” George accused Nick pointing at him with the pan still in his hands.

“Are you stupid? You were the one who got in the way!” Nick threw the egg with the napkin into the trash can with more force than intended. George turned around to the sink to wash the pan, giving his back to both Nick and Clay.

“Sorry for trying to help? Fuck you.”

“What a way of helping, dickhead.” Nick was throwing darts at George’s back with his eyes, hands closed with anger in fists.

Clay, still lying on the floor, just growled in pain closing his eyes. His head was pounding, he felt like he was going to cry from the pain.

“Can you guys please stop?”

Nick turned around with a worried expression.

“Hey, are you alright?”

“No, my head has been killing me since I woke up and you guys arguing like little kids is not helping either.” Clay tried to stand up, holding onto Nick’s arm with difficulty. “Do we have ibuprofen or something?”

George replied this time, drying his hands on a cloth.

“We don’t,” He turned around to see Clay sitting on a stool and Nick standing next to him, with a hand on the other’s back, “and I have work in a couple minutes, so I can’t go buy any, sorry.”

George turned around again to make a cup of coffee, using Clay’s mug. Nick caught this, and left Clay’s side to quickly reach out for something hidden in the oven.

“Hey, I know we just threw a friend egg at you but… Dream?”

Clay lifted his gaze. It was still kind of odd to be called anything else than Clay, but he got used to his new name weirdly easy. Nick approached him and put a dish with pancakes dripping syrup in front of him, a shy smile on his face. George joined next to him, leaving Clay’s mug with coffee right next to the dish. He was pouting slightly, a sign that Clay had learnt to identify as George being stubborn and not wanting to show he was actually happy.

Clay just looked at the breakfast in confusion, and the reason behind it only hit him at the same time he saw from the corner of his eye Nick elbowing George with little discretion.

“Happy birthday, Dream.” Nick sing-songed, grinning broadly, while George less than whispered it, looking away and trying to look uninterested, although his mouth turned into a small smile betraying him.

Clay was frozen. He looked at them, looked back at the pancakes and the coffee, and back at them.

“I don’t like coffee.”

The three of them stared at each other in complete silence for what felt like hours, eyes wide like dinner plates, mouth ajar. Then George burst out laughing, unable to keep a straight face anymore. Nick followed, and Clay held his aching head while he tried not to wheeze too hard.

“Well, _this_ is Pandas’ fault!” George was almost doubling on himself.

“No, it is not!” Nick was trying to control his laugh now, failing and hiccupping cutely. “And you don’t get to call me _that_ now!”

“Why not?!”

“Because you are an assho-”

“Guys!” Clay had stopped laughing, still giggling lowly, but pain showing on his expression. “Please just…” He made a vague gesture with his hand. “I don’t want to go to the drugstore myself… Pandas, you got some time before work, right?”

Nick approached the countertop, where he had previously dropped a dish on his attempt to stop George from burning the fried egg. “Actually, I called in sick.”

George took Clay’s mug and started to sip on the coffee, walking to the fridge and picking a cartoon of milk.

“You don’t look very sick to me.” He filled his own empty mug with milk and left it on the microwave.

“Yeah, no... I kind of wanted a free day because of Dream’s birthday.” Nick was picking up the pieces of the shattered dish carefully, eyes avoiding anything else. Clay wasn’t sure what to say. George had once again turned his back to them, hiding his face.

During their first week as roommates, they all tried testing each other’s limits. Although George and Nick had been living together for one week before Clay had arrived, they had barely even interacted due to their conflicting schedules, rarely talking about a videogame here and there, late at night when neither of them could sleep.

Somehow, with Clay’s arrival, they all tried to wake up a little earlier to see and interact with each other; to stay in the apartment to the last minute to make some small talk before having to leave, to talk about their days... They started to use their group chat more frequently too, joking and teasing each other about undone household tasks.

Clay noticed how Nick was quite fidgety and handsy, visibly having to force himself not to jump around and hug people at inappropriate times. Nick took note of how uncomfortable and on edge George looked whenever anybody got too physically close to him. George didn’t miss how often Clay would compliment him and Nick, constantly vocalizing his support with cheesy lines that seemed to have been taken from sappy novels.

Their personalities were clearly not meant for each other, yet they were making it work, arguments erupting more often than not  —  people seldom get along within a week of knowing one another, after all  —  but it didn’t deter them from finding a middle ground when problems arose and forgiving each other quickly.

  
  


As they were learning how to interact and behave around the others, there were still awkward moments, of course, which came from either George’s harsh attitude, Nick’s temperament or Clay’s stubbornness. Awkward moments, like the one Nick felt himself in at this point in time.

Nick decided to quickly continue when nobody made the attempt to react after a silence that lasted an eternity. He turned to George who was entertained with adding cocoa powder on the mug with warm milk.

“I mean, Dream told me a couple days ago that he still hadn't met anyone here apart from us, and all his friends and family are back in Florida, right? I didn’t want him to stay all alone in the apartment for his birthday! It’s not weird, okay?”

George looked back at him, arching an eyebrow.

“I didn’t say it was weird!” Clay interrupted lively, headache seemingly forgotten for a moment. That, or he was starting to get a fever, making his cheeks turn slightly red.

“That’s actually very sweet of you.” George commented offhandedly once done with the milk, handing it over to Clay.

Nick stopped a moment to process that. Had that been a genuine compliment? From George?

“A minute ago you were yelling at me.” Nick replied with a perplexed look, looking directly at George.

“A minute ago you were being stupid.” George smacked Clay’s back to get him out of his trance. “Eat the pancakes.” He said simply, pointing at the fork and knife next to the dish. “Nick, you can get him painkillers then, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Great, because I should have left 15 minutes ago and I’m running late! Goodbye losers!” 

George stuck out his tongue to them, and rushed to the entrance to change his shoes, picking up his backpack and house keys, slamming the main door on his way out.

…

“So did you have any plans for today?” Nick watched Clay take a pill with some water he had brought for him. Clay was sitting on his bed, supporting his back on one of his neon green plush pillows.

“Not really, I thought about video calling some friends and my siblings” He gave the glass of water back to Nick, who was sitting on a beanbag next to the bed. “Other than that, I was gonna stay in and play some Minecraft all day...” Clay looked out of the window, closing his eyes almost completely, light too bright now for his sensitive eyes once the sun has started to rise. He looked back at Nick with a defeated expression, a sad smile on his lips. “...but seeing that I got a killing headache, I’ll probably sleep all day.”

Nick snorted.

“Well, I’m staying home for you and I just brought you the painkillers! I did not call in sick for you to sleep all day dude, so in an hour or so you should be good to go!”

“Go where?” Clay smirked. Nick rolled his eyes.

“You know what I meant, shut up” He stood from the pouf and walked around the room. “but yeah, we can order some food and-”

Clay didn’t let him continue.

“Dude, don't you know how to cook? I swear I’ve seen you only cook like, twice before this morning... and this morning you threw a fried egg at my face so…”

“It was NOT me!” Nick whined loudly, “and it didn't fall on your face so don’t make it sound like you need a nose job or something!” Clay grimaced, and Nick lowered his voice. “Also, I know how to cook, I made the pancakes you ate and you said you liked them, remember?”

Clay considered it for a moment. The truth is that the pancakes had been very good. He would have loved to get some bacon and fried eggs too, but between the whole ordeal that morning and his headache, he really just wanted to go back into bed.

“I’ll give you that” He offered a smile to Nick.

“Thanks! Anyways, I don't feel like cooking and having to clean up more for today, let’s just order some food? Please?” Nick sat back again on the pouf, leaving a dramatic huff as if cooking for himself was going to make his hands fall off.

“Pandas, of course we’re ordering food, I am not cooking on my birthday.” Clay slid more comfortably in his bed, covering himself completely with the blankets. It wasn’t cold enough yet to use so many blankets, but in all honesty, he loved the feeling of being squished, warm and soft bed sheets enveloping him.

He wanted to fall asleep again, but Nick didn’t seem like he was going to stop talking so soon.

“Wish we could get some alcohol... do you think George could get us some when he gets off work?”

“Ehh… I don’t think George would do that... does it look to you like he’s the type to drink alcohol anyways?” The mere mental image of George drinking felt off in Clay’s mind. Let alone him buying alcohol for his roommates when they weren’t still of drinking age.

Nick thought about it for a moment.

“...Fair point… we can still try?”

Puppy eyes? This boy was going to be the death of Clay.

“You really want to use my birthday as an excuse to get wasted, huh?” He laughed quietly under his covers, only blinking back to Nick who was pursuing his lips like a little kid whose candy had been taken away.

“Awww man, don’t say that, you know I love you...” Nick crossed his arms and looked at his feet. It didn’t take him long to feel like he shouldn’t have said that out loud.

Dream was going to be uncomfortable, right? They only had known each other for a week, it was weird and very much not how most men would talk to each other, right? He knew this because he had always gotten weird looks from some of his friends when he had spoken out about how he felt. He didn’t know Dream well enough just yet to be going around saying “I love you” like he would to his close friends whom he knew were comfortable with being affectionate. Could he even call Dream a friend? Was he getting too ahead of himself again?

“I know, don’t worry Panpan.” Clay had his eyes closed now, not looking weirded out in the slightest. Nick felt the air go back to his lungs at hearing the nickname Dream has started using for him endearingly.

“Ok, you can sleep while I get breakfast and try to convince George to get us some drinks.” Nick stood up with little grace and left the room quickly before Clay could say anything else. Not like Clay was going to stop him.

He turned, getting in a more comfortable position, and fell asleep.

...

The second time Clay woke up, it was almost past midday and it was to Nick yelling his lungs out. His head didn’t hurt as much as before, but the yelling was annoying and he had had enough earlier in the morning.

Clay slipped out of bed and headed to the living room, peeking his head.

“What is going on?”

He saw Nick walking from one side of the living room to the other, like a caged lion, phone glued to his left ear.

“Dude, c’mon, it's just one day and it’s Dream’s birthday! What’s your fucking problem?!”

He approached Nick quickly, a serious look on his face, and extended his right hand, signaling Nick to hand over the phone. When he saw Nick shake his head, he commanded with a firm tone.

“Nick, give me the phone.”

Nick ignored him and instead yelled back again into the phone.

“You’re such a stuck-up bitch, it’s just one bottle, we’re not little kids!”

Clay was usually not a patient person, but especially today he felt at the verge of snapping. Without thinking he forcefully took Nick’s phone from his hand, pushing him with force. Ignoring his fuss, he talked to George on the other side of the phone.

“George”

A pause.

“...Dream?”

“Listen, it’s okay if you don’t want to get us alcohol, it’s not important.”

Nick immediately chimed in.

“It’s not about the alcohol dude, he’s just being a fucking prick because of what happened this mor-”

He didn’t get to finish, because Clay turned around and stared at him dead in the eye. 

“Nick, shut the fuck up.” Clay’s sharp tone gave Nick goosebumps and intimidated him enough to give a step back and lower his head. Turning to the sofa, Clay sat down and focused again on George. “George, you’re at work, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry for this, you really don’t have to get us anything” Clay sighed. Nick sat down next to him. “See you later, bye.”

“...Bye.”

A very uncomfortable silence made an appearance. Dream was just looking at Nick’s phone in his hands, Nick next to him, looking at his own intertwined hands like a child who was ashamed of his behaviour, but not yet ready to apologize.

Clay wasn’t truly angry at Nick, but he was upset. It was the same for Nick. And probably for George too. They all needed to talk, but first he wanted to speak to Nick.

“I told you he wasn’t going to buy us jack shit, why did you call him while he’s at work?” He decided to be direct, there was no point in beating around the bush. “You know he is trying to take his internship seriously, c’mon.”

“I just thought we were on good terms, even after what happened this morning.” Nick spread his legs and threw his head and arms on the back of the sofa. He was very open about talking how he felt, what he was not good at was wording his thoughts properly. “I don’t know… sometimes he’s very cool to be around, but he can be such a stubborn bitch at times for no fucking reason, it pisses me off!”

Clay handed Nick back his phone. He locked his eyes on Nick’s again.

“Maybe he has a reason, you can’t possibly know.”

Nick considered this, but shook his head while he put his phone on the pocket of his sweatpants.

“Well, he shouldn’t! We haven’t done anything for him to be always so defensive and act so secretive about everything like we are undeserving of his stupid presence!”

Nick was starting to raise his voice, Clay could see him getting more and more worked up, he needed to try and calm him down.

“...I know how you feel, but I think he just needs time.” George was complicated, that much both Clay and Nick could tell. “Let’s be more patient with him, he just arrived from another country, he doesn’t really know anyone other than us, he’s probably just stressed and wary of opening up too much too soon, you know?”

Nick nodded, lost in thought. Opening up too much and too soon? He was scared of that too.

“Pandas, he doesn’t even know if we’re gonna be douchebags when we’re drunk, I wouldn’t buy us alcohol either if I were him to be honest.”

Nick snorted slightly, giving Clay a small smile, still avoiding his eyes.

Nick wanted to hold his hand. He wanted to hold Dream’s hand so badly. He was so angry at himself, he couldn’t believe it was happening again, and this time so soon, too. He tried to think of something else, how he had only known Dream for a week, how the other would leave his stupid shoes lying on the living room, how he would wake him up at random times to play Minecraft but refused to try any other game, how cute he looked when talking passionately about the things he loved, or the things he hated, or the things he did not know yet but that was ready to put in the effort to understand. _C’mon Nick, get a grip!_

“Panpan…?”

Dream was looking at him with worried eyes.

“Yeah, you’re right…” Nick conceded ultimately. He did like George most of the time, it was hard to be patient every so often, but he internally wanted not only to prove to Dream that he could be civilized, but to George that he was worthy of his trust. “Should I send him a text or something?”

“Probably”

**pandas**

| hey georgie

| sorry for being a bitch before

| you dont have to get us anything

Clay checked his phone and read the messages pop up on the group chat. “Read” appearing under Nick’s texts not too long after.

Both of them waited for a reply, but it did not seem like George was ready to give one.

“He left me on read, what the fuck?” Nick left his phone on the low table, right on top of his laptop and someone’s hoodie (probably George’s), his resolution of not being too temperamental and losing it leaving his mind like it had never even been there to start with.

“Are you surprised?” Clay giggled.

“...Not really." Nick knew better than to expect a text from George right after a discussion.

Clay stood up, holding out a hand for Nick.

“Alright, wanna play some bedwars?”

It wasn’t the type of hand holding Nick expected. Still, he was not going to pass up the opportunity to hold onto Dream’s hand for even a couple of seconds.

“...Sure, but let me try to get some beer or something from another friend."

"Pandas..."

"Okay, okay..."

  
  


Between laughs and nice conversation, they played for a couple hours, only stopping to order food and eat in placid silence. Clay also called some of his friends, his relatives, and even let his younger sister talk a little with Nick, who told him some embarrassing anecdotes about Clay while he wasn’t present in the room.

...

In the evening, the entrance door was closed gently after a jingle of keys was heard from the outside. George stepped in, backpack on one of his shoulders and a couple bags on his hands, glass hitting against glass could be heard from some of them.

Nick was the first to get up from the sofa, leaving his laptop where he had been sitting. He had practiced a little with Clay, he wanted to apologize properly and not fuck it up again.

“Hey George, I am sor-”

“Bring these to the kitchen.” George cut Nick by passing him the bags he was carrying. He wasn’t even looking directly at Nick. He was looking at his shoes, like they were the most interesting piece of clothing he had ever owned.

Clay appeared from behind Nick, sneaking a look inside. The bags were filled with several bottles of diverse liquors, way more that the one bottle Nick had requested from George.

“WHAT THE HELL?” Both Clay and Nick exclaimed, looking up at George, who was still avoiding their eyes, seemingly indifferent to their reactions. He carefully left his shoes on the entrance, and took off his jacket, heading to his shared room with Nick to set it aside on his desk chair.

Neither Clay or Nick followed him. They both moved towards the kitchen, taking out some bottles and inspecting them like they were in a dream.

“Dude, I told you maybe a bottle or two, not fucking eight.” Nick was checking a large bottle of rum. “Do you want to kill us?”

Clay didn’t look less astonished, but he was keeping his mouth shut, completely caught by surprise.

George came into the kitchen, now wearing an oversized gray hoodie that hid partially his thighs, and a pair of black leggings that looked pretty loose on his slim figure. His hands were hidden behind his back, not that Nick or Clay realised.

“These are not all for today, don't be stupid.” He glanced at Nick with nervous eyes. “It’s just so we have them… for whenever we want to drink something, I guess.”

His cheeks looked red, but his expression was one of displeasure, eyebrows and mouth frowned. Neither Nick or Clay knew what to make of that, but they decided not to push George too much and helped him store some bottles in the fridge, making some space for others in a nearby cabinet.

After everything was in place, Nick turned to George, biting his lips.

“....Thanks.”

George clearly wasn’t the type to accept apologies with words, Nick figured, so the least he could do was be grateful for his change of mind. He would have to be more careful next time and control his temperament better, he guessed.

“You’re very welcome, I’m picking what we order for dinner tho.” George smiled then, a genuine, big smile that made Nick and Clay finally suspire in relief.

“Whatever you want man, hehe” Nick lightly poked his ribs with his elbow, smiling back.

George rolled his eyes, smile dropping and feigning annoyance while Nick giggled. Clay was smiling too, glad that they both seemed to have made up. George caught his attention then, waving one of his hands, while the other remained hidden behind his back.

“Hey Dream… this is for you, sorry for the fried egg this morning… and happy birthday again, I guess.”

His hidden hand came up front, holding a box, not big, but not small either, just the perfect size to be held with one hand. It was of a creamy white, with a small lime bow right on top. Nick, as curious as (or maybe more than) Clay, elbowed him, pressuring him to pick up the box and open it. 

Clay took the box away from George’s hand. He hesitated a little, but opened it with resolve. 

Inside the box there was a single muffin, white glace with green sprinkles on top. It was very simple, but the fact that George had taken the time to get him something tugged at his heartstrings. He didn’t want to cry, so he coughed a little to mask his glassy eyes and give a wide smile to George, who was waiting patiently right in front of him.

“Thank you, George.”

Although George had looked very interested in his reaction, he suddenly spun around, heading to the living room and leaving Clay and Nick to catch up to him.

“Whatever.” Looking around, he saw the living room in the exact same state of disarrangement as it had been that morning. “What were you guys doing?”

“Playing Minecraft, wanna join us?”

George scoffed.

“Like you have to ask.”

...

That night Clay learnt two things.

One: Nick and him had clearly underestimated George’s knowledge on drinks. Awestruck, they observed him mixing liquors and adding fruits and soft drinks left and right, like he was a professional, guessing their preferences in alcohol without even asking them anything. He refused to answer their questions, leaving them to believe that at some point George had probably worked at a pub of some shorts.

And two: Nick was unable to hold more than two glasses of gimlet, after that, he was left babbling incoherences. Clay himself was not any better, although he became sleepy after some time, but not before he and George got to interrogate Nick about his nickname. Between giggles, Nick confessed that a girl had told him he looked “as cute and huggable as a panda”, and so all his friends ended up calling him Pandas to tease him.

“That’s such a stupid nickname.” George was very much still able to keep drinking, but his movements did not scream “sober” at all. “You may as well have used your name backwards or something.”

Imitating a British accent to bug George, Nick replied with no real bite on his tone.

“Oh yeah, because your name is soooooo original, right, Geooooorge?”

Clay, who had long ago slipped from the sofa and was sitting on the floor, started to laugh unprompted.

“What’s up with you?” George kicked Clay’s left shoulder with his right foot, making him slip completely and lie on the floor, still wheezing.

Nick used his left foot to push Clay’s right shoulder this time.

“Dude, shut uuuuup, neighbours are gonna come complain.”

“Sadnap!” Clay yelled, out of his mind, almost choking on his laugh.

George and Nick looked at each other, arching an eyebrow.

“What?” They asked in unison.

“Pandas backwards is Sadnap!” Clay exclaimed. “How tragic is that? Your name backwards means a sap... nap...”

“This guy is out of it.” Commented George, taking another sip from his glass.

“Dream, my name’s Nick, Pandas is my nickname-”

Clay erupted in laughter again while George and Nick rolled their eyes, laugh fading away after George kicked him softly again on his shoulder.

Not long after a comfortable moment of Clay lying still with his eyes closed, George finishing his glass and Nick humming a song under his breath, Clay started to snore.

“Thank fuck he has a room to himself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't watched "We bare bears", one bear named Panda is nicknamed “Panpan” by his brother. I went with that here when Dream was being especially soft for Sapnap lol
> 
> This chapter turned out a little longer than planned, that's why the end is kind of rushed.... I didn't wanna cut it short, but making it too long could have been tiring for some readers (as it was for me when editing this whole thing)
> 
> Anyways, next chapter comes with some angst! I apologize in advance 👉🏽👈🏽


	3. Anemones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lost track of time and took almost a month to get this done, OOPS
> 
> A lot of talking on this chapter, it’s not as angsty as some of you guys feared lmaoooo i feel like i should be saying sorry omg
> 
> Barely edited, as soon as i finished it i scrolled up and said “i ain't reading all that chief”, so i just hit post…. enjoy

“To be fair, I was half asleep.”

“That’s all you have to say for yourself?” George did not look amused in the least, arms crossed and eyebrows frowned, hard eyes fixed on Nick, who was moving around their shared bedroom, picking up his red target shirt, and looking for his khaki pants on the pile of clothes on his bed.

“Nah, I also did it because I knew it would piss you off.” Voice dripping with sarcasm, Nick snickered.

“You’re impossible.” George uncrossed his arms and, heaving a sigh, followed Nick to the kitchen while still holding onto his dirty t-shirt, not happy with how the conversation was going. "So that's it?"

Nick picked a container with some prepared food and threw it with force inside his backpack, clearly starting to lose his cool.

“I don’t know why it matters so much, you can just wash it or buy a new one!”

“It’s fucking Supreme, that shit is expensive, Nick!”

George tossed his ruined t-shirt on Nick's back. The shirt had some sort of dried off cream cheese on it, and remains of a red sauce could be seen too. Nick just turned around with a tired look on his face, grabbing the t-shirt from his back to throw it on the trash can. He turned to the fridge to get his bottle of water, and headed quickly to the kitchen's entrance where George was blocking his path.

“Okay whatever, I’ll get you a new one when I can! Can you please drop it now, I need to go!”

“It’s not whatever, this is the second time it happens!”

George could feel his face starting to turn red from anger. He wasn't truly angry about it, but something about Nick acting like nothing had really happened was infuriating. 

“That other t-shirt wasn’t Supreme!” Nick pushed George to the side with as much gentleness as he could muster not to start a physical fight right there and then.

“I don't care, I don’t want you using my t-shirts as cleaning cloths!”

Nick finished tying his shoes and picked his keys.

“Well maybe you shouldn’t leave them around like they were!” With that final statement, Nick slammed the front door shut right in front of George’s face.

“NICK! GET BACK HERE!”

The British boy was left alone in the hall, blood boiling.

  
  
  


Despite the fact that September had been a good month for all of them (with long sleepless nights playing video games or watching series, ordering fast food and messing around all night drinking, or just talking for long hours about their lives previous to moving out), things began to turn sour and wither as Fall wasn’t a little rain and cold wind anymore, and started to settle down on the streets.

Around mid October, Nick’s classes started to take a big toll on him, he had lots of tests every week, and although it was supposed to be his first year, his professors did not give him any break. He was starting to become irritable quicker every day, and his lack of sleep did not make it any easier on his temperament.

George, being in his last year, was not doing so much better. He was barely home between classes and work, and coming back to Nick yelling, breaking things out of clumsiness or on accident, and just annoying him in general (even if not intentional) was not idyllic. He was used to taking care of himself perfectly fine, having people around who only disrupted his rhythm was enraging.

Clay, in between both of them, was lucky to say he was not doing that badly. Although he was in his first year like Nick, he almost had the same skills as George. He could afford to skip most of his classes if he wanted, and he would finish his assignments fairly quickly too, which left him with lots of free time.

However, he still needed to find a job and get a car, and that was stressing him quite a lot. Not to even mention that seeing his roommates, his newfound friends, argued constantly… he could see it having a bad effect on his own mood. He would yell back at them too, and he had been very close to actually picking a fight with Nick more than once over dumb, futile issues.

In general, the whole apartment's atmosphere wasn't good.

  
  


It only got worse when Clay noticed Nick and George skipping meals day in and day out. At first he didn't think of it as a big deal (he himself would do the same when he was focused on a task for too long), but with how much they were overworking themselves on a daily basis, not eating on top of almost not sleeping was clearly not only affecting them physically, but emotionally too. If making mountains out of molehills was what provoked the fights before, there wasn’t any clear reason why any argument started anymore. It would take just a bad or a funny look from one of them, for the others to jump at his throat without second thought.

  
  


As an older brother, Clay's instincts yelled at him to speak up and make amends. He debated with himself for a long time about talking with each of them individually, since whenever they all got together in a room, it usually ended in a big feud with no clear winner.

Nevertheless, they had only known each other for about two months and, although he considered them friends more than roommates, there was only so much he was willing to risk. Being on bad terms with both, George and Nick, was not one of those things.

In the end, Clay decided to stay quiet and let them be. It couldn’t get worse than it already was, after all.

...

Everything was going downhill and Clay was at his breaking point.

Clay thought of himself as someone mentally strong, but even he had to admit that hearing both of his roommates shouting and arguing constantly left him on edge, tense about saying or doing something that would make them charge at him. Or the other way around if they were being especially annoying.

His temperament was being affected especially by Nick’s. He soon realised that George was more of a passive-aggressive person, while him and Nick would be openly hostile and confrontational.

One time, George left one of Nick’s hoodies on the kitchen floor after having used it and stained it with food. Nick spent a whole morning yelling while George locked himself in the bathroom, taking a long shower and spending his sweet time inside just to upset Nick even more.

Thinking back to it, George using one of Nick’s hoodies while they were at "war" _was_ kind of weird. Huh.

  
  


At another instance, George entered Clay’s bedroom without knocking, like he owned the place. It wouldn’t have bothered Clay had it not been for George straight away locking his door and sitting on his beanbag, headphones over his ears connected to his phone.

Clay didn’t even have time to question George about what he was doing, because he heard Nick screaming and running around the apartment like a madman, cursing George’s name and swearing he was going to beat him up the moment he came back home.

Clay turned to George with an inquisitive expression, but he only glared back at him in silence, bringing his left index finger to his lips, signaling Clay to cover him.

He did stay silent, if only begrudgingly, to avoid a fight taking place in his own room.

  
  
  


All they did for a long time was overwork themselves and fight each other, loud voices raising and making Clay’s headaches more and more frequent. Nick seemed to have taken his nickname literally with the way a pair of dark circles was growing under his eyes. George’s tired eyes looked even worse with how his fair skin was turning even paler.

  
  
  


...

  
  
  


The last straw was not even anything big.

Clay was on his desk, coding for one of his classes. It was starting to get late, around midnight, when Nick came back from visiting his parents. Clay decided to take a small break, heading towards the kitchen where he saw Nick enter as he walked outside his bedroom.

As soon as he entered the kitchen, almost as a reminiscent of what happened on his birthday, he was startled by George's loud yelling.

“Look who decided to finally show his ugly face!”

Nick looked as confused as Clay, but with a lot more energy to spend on arguing with the brunet, so he did not back down when he replied, equally as loud as George.

“What is it now?!” He approached George, getting dangerously close to his face. George did not budge one muscle, slightly raising his head to keep eye to eye contact with Nick, refusing to be intimidated by the size advantage. “What stupid shit have you made up now to complain about, huh?!”

Clay was frozen on the kitchen’s threshold. Face of someone who had seen the same type of argument go down over and over again for the past month. He knew he should have turned around and headed to his bedroom, there were nine in ten chances that they would not listen to him and would continue to argue for a long time, but he couldn’t move a muscle.

Nick and George only started to raise their voices even more if it was possible.

“Why the hell did you eat my pizza?! I was planning on eating that tonight!”

“Dude it’s just a pizza!! And you took my Subway order the other day without asking too, so we’re even!”

“I was in a hurry! I told you it was an accident!”

“Well, you should have been more careful!”

“You always target me!” George yelled at the top of his lungs, Clay thought he was going to lose his voice. “Whenever I make a mistake you just rub it on my face for weeks and take it as an excuse to do shitty things and mess with me!!”

“THAT’S NOT FUCKING TRUE!”

George pushed Nick with force and screamed back.

“ _OF COURSE IT IS!! _WHY DON'T YOU YELL AT DREAM TOO, THEN?!”__ When George pointed a finger at Clay and turned his face to look at him, his anger immediately vanished and his face fell. Nick turned around too, frown softening and worry appearing on his eyes.

Eyes spilling tears silently, Clay was holding onto the door’s frame, a fatigued expression on his face. It took him a moment to process George was pointing a finger at him and Nick’s look on him, but when he did, he hurriedly wiped his tears away with the sleeve of his hoodie. It was Nick’s hoodie, he realised, he had borrowed it from him because he had thrown on the washing machine all his dirty clothes that morning.

“Dream…?” George lowered his arm, looked between Nick and Clay, unsure of what to say or do.

“Sorry, I’m alright...” Clay’s voice felt raspy. He chuckled lightly giving a shaky smile to Nick and George, that didn’t really reach anyone with how he was trying to hide his face on the sleeves of the borrowed hoodie.

“Dude, you’re not okay.” Nick spoke, approaching him carefully like you would with a fearful animal. He turned around and made some hand gestures to George, who quickly understood and rushed to get a glass of water.

Finally stopping hiding his face, Clay looked up when he felt Nick’s presence right in front of him.

“I am fine.” His puffy eyes, runny nose and red cheeks clearly said the contrary, no matter how wide he forced his smile to be.

George appeared right next to Nick, glass of water in hand, stretching his arm for Clay to take it without getting too close to him.

Clay just contemplated the glass of water as his smile trembled and he gulped loudly.

“I am sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” George’s voice was a mere whisper.

Clay considered his answer for a short while, Nick and George nervously looking at him and the glass of water he seemed to mentally be drowning in.

“I don’t know.” He replied simply.

“Do you… wanna talk about it?” George moved to leave the glass on the kitchen table, eyes not totally leaving the desolate boy.

Clay was taking his time to carefully think about his answers, waiting for his heartbeat to go back to normal so he could speak without fear of tears interrupting him.

“I thought you guys were in the middle of something.”

George and Nick looked at each other.

“I mean, I guess…” Nick scratched his head, embarrassed. “But it’s kind of a dick move to just ignore you crying while we argue.”

“You have done it before.” It escaped Clay’s lips before he could think about it twice, but he kept a neutral expression hoping for George and Nick to leave him alone.

“Dream… have you…” George decided to ask when he saw Nick’s vision frozen on Clay’s hands, the ones who were playing with the sleeves of his hoodie. “Have you cried before because we were fighting?”

Awkward. There were a lot of implications in such a deafening silence. Clay did not like any of them.

“Dream, we _need_ to talk.” George spoke up.

“What the hell, don’t say it that way!” Nick interjected.

“Why not?”

“It sounds like we’re kicking him out or something” Nick punched George lightly on his arm, looking back at Clay. “Look, you’re clearly not alright dude, and one night you did tell us your parents used to fight when you were younger and…”

“You remember that?” Clay interrupted, looking up and gaping at Nick.

“Yeah, what the fuck? I barely recall that night at all...” George also gaped at Nick. All he could remember was that _there was _a night__ in which all of them drank until they couldn’t even walk, but it felt like a fading, far away memory. 

“...I mean, that shit stays with you, I should know.”

Another silence.

“Well, my parents never even talked to each other, so I can’t really relate.” Declared George, feeling instantly uneasy about it.

“That explains why you’re a cold ass heartless bitch.” Snapped Nick.

George sighed loudly, closed his eyes and tried to calm himself down as to not fly into a rage.

“Don’t start again, it’s not the time.”

“Oh, _now_ you wanna be the bigger person?”

“Guys….” Clay spoke up. He had stopped playing with the sleeves of Nick’s hoodie, but now he felt like his hair was all over the place so he started to mess with it, covering his face again with his arms in the process. “I know you guys are worried, but it’s nothing, I guess it’s just late and I was feeling sensitive or some shit…” Has he always felt that lump in his throat? His chest was hurting too, he felt like only screaming to the top of his lungs would fix it. “I’ve just been very stressed with applying for jobs, I guess no one needs a coder nowadays, and applying for retail jobs hasn’t been working either and I don't know what to do at this point? and one of the codes I’m working on is not turning well, and fuck, why it’s not working? I’m doing everything right, and I keep checking for errors but nothing is wrong! and the other day this friend called and he-”

“Bro...” Nick interrupted him, stepping forward to gently pull Clay’s hands out of his hair, now looking like a bird nest. “All that doesn't sound like “nothing” to me.”

Another silence, somehow less awkward this time. George left Nick and Clay’s side, heading towards their electric kettle.

“I’m making some tea, I don't think coffee is gonna help right now.”

“Damn right it won’t!” Clay chimed in, mood slightly better with how the situation seemingly had deescalated, Nick’s warm hand on his wrists, grounding him.

Nick didn’t drop his hands from Clay’s as they made their way to the living room. Once he had seated Clay on the sofa (this one laughing softly, “ _I’m not going to break, Pandas_ ”), he disappeared into Clay’s bedroom, coming back with a small stress ball that he knew he had on his desk for whenever he felt restless.

Almost at the same time (bless the British for his impeccable timing), George entered the living room with two cups of lemon balm tea in hand. Nick hurriedly dumped on the floor all the random objects that were laying on the coffee table and rushed to the kitchen to bring the remaining cup of tea.

The digital wall clock on top of the TV emitted a calming blue light. It was exactly 01:13 A.M..

“It’s been a while since we sat down all together here.” Clay’s voice wasn’t trembling anymore, one hand on his cup of tea, the other holding his stress ball, short but sharp nails digging into the stretchy material.

“Hmm.” George hummed peacefully, the mood in the room completely changed.

It was cozy, it felt like a home again: Clay in the middle of the sofa, Nick to his left slurping his tea, George on his right blowing his before taking small sips. The sofa was big enough for all of them, but their bodies touched each other, bringing warmth to his cheeks. Or maybe it was the tea, he wasn’t sure he wanted to think about which one was the culprit.

“I hated leaving my room.” Clay said suddenly. “When I was younger my parents would fight all the time over stupid shit for no reason. My older sister would come to my room and play on her barbie radio some atrocious music very loudly so I didn’t hear anything, it’s kind of sad now that I think about it.”

Nick stopped his movements, but said nothing. George, however...

“Have you really cried before because we were fighting?”

“Dude!” Nick jumped.

Clay ignored him and replied simply with a low “Yes, I have.”, barely above a whisper.

The atmosphere wasn’t bad or tense, but it didn’t feel completely right just yet, something was missing.

“It’s not your fault, I am just a crybaby.” Clay laughed, taking a big sip from his cup.

“I mean, you’re right.” Commented George without mincing words.

“Do you ever think before you speak?” Nick snarled before Clay could reply back.

“Do you?”

“Stop.” In a moment of clarity, Clay commanded with severity in his voice. “I may be a crybaby, but you guys arguing is childish and it's getting fucking tiring.” He left his stress ball on the coffee table. It rolled out of it and fell to the floor. “It hurts me seeing you fight because you guys are my friends.”

“I-” Nick opened his mouth, but Clay shut him down before he could continue.

“I am not finished.” _Take a breathe in, now breathe out_. “And I’m really worried. Like _actually_ worried. I can’t remember the last time I saw you-” he turned to Nick. “sleep for more than four hours, in your bed and not on the sofa or your desk.”

“But I-”

“ _And you_ -” Clay turned to George then, who was clearly taken aback. “The last time I saw you eat something that wasn't half of a cold pizza, you still said good morning to us. And let me tell you, that was at least a month ago.”

Silence, not awkward, but filled with guilt. Clay felt like he was nagging them, and that wasn’t truly what this was about. He bit his lower lip and looked back at his cup of tea.

“Whatever goes on between you two I have no say in it, but you guys have to talk shit out instead of just yelling like maniacs. And like, fucking eat and sleep properly! I don’t do it always, but I don't neglect it to the point I start arguments for the most stupid bullshit I see you guys do.” He looked up at George. “And don’t bring me up in your discussions, that was fucking shitty.”

George didn’t bite his tongue.

“He does favour you, or are you blind?”

Nick almost jumped out of the sofa, but he only snapped his head towards George, ignoring the smile that was starting to form on Clay’s mouth.

“I don’t, what the hell?”

“Yeah you dooooo” Flushed cheeks flashing red. It was very visible because of George’s milky skin.

“Both of you, shut it!” And Clay wheezed loudly, making Nick cackle and George giggle.

All of them missed the playful banter they would share from time to time, no poison in their words or need for blood in their hands. 

More silence. More tea. Empty cups after a while.

“So is everything alright with your classes? The first year can be hard if you’re not organized.” George stood up, taking everybody cups and bringing them to the kitchen’s isle. They could clean them up tomorrow. Or maybe the day after, along with the pile of unwashed dishes that were starting to accumulate in the sink.

“What are you insinuating?” Nick raised his voice a little for George to hear him from the kitchen.

George came back soon enough, tapping the back of Nick’s head like you would to a small disobedient child.

“Are your classes going well or not, Pandas?”

Nick reconsidered talking back, finally deciding not to. The tea warming his body made him relax, no energy left for fighting... especially not with Clay next to him, sharp green olive eyes looking back at him, expecting a reply to George’s question.

“It’s hard. I left a couple assignments for the last minute and now I have a bunch of them due in like a week…” George chuckled under his breath while he repositioned himself on the sofa. Nick ignored him. “If I want to get everything done, I can’t really afford to sleep at all this week.”

George elbowed Clay then.

“Me? Eh… well, I am just having trouble with a code, but most of my classes are pretty easy and I don’t have many assignments due so I’m doing well.”

“You just wanted to rub it on my face, didn’t you?” Groaned Nick, letting his head fall backwards on the sofa’s back with a defeated sigh.

Clay giggled.

“A little… but to be fair, George asked.”

George spoke then, looking at the stress ball next to a laptop on the floor.

“My hands are pretty full at the moment… but I should be able to help you with one or two of your assignments if you want me to.”

Nick perked up at that, his eyes wide open.

“Yeah, I can also help you with quite a few of them, Panpan.”

As Clay said that, he decided to get a little more comfortable, leaning towards Nick with his upper body and bringing his legs to the sofa, carefully avoiding putting them on top of George’s lap.

Nick needed to respond, he knew he needed to reply to their offers. Clay’s sweet aftershave scent was filling his nostrils, his head felt slightly dizzy.

“That would be… good, yeah.” For how loud Nick used to be and how excited he would get at the smallest things, he felt strangely calm about his friends’ offerings. A piece on the mental puzzle he did not know he had, finding its rightful place.

George kicked a few of the previous things that were on the coffee table, right next to this one but on the floor. He identified a blanket in the middle of the mess of objects and grabbed it, untangling it and covering the three of them with it.

“Dream, you still haven’t found a job, right?”

Clay shook his head with a heavy sigh.

“Nah... I still got money saved to last until January, but I’d have to cut on food a lot to work it out.”

Just thinking about it was making him nervous again. He really didn’t want to ask his parents for money, he just needed to find a job.

“You know, I’m just doing an internship so I don’t get paid a lot, but I could suggest you to my boss and see if they can put you in one of our offices, real good coders are hard to come by and you seem to have a lot of experience.”

Clay didn’t know how to react.

“...Are you for real?”

“Yeah” George pulled the blanket a little to squeeze the fabric on his hands. “If you would have told me before that you were having issues with finding something, I could have been able to help you, you know? I’m in contact with different companies here and in the UK.”

“I'd really appreciate that, thanks George.” Clay forced inside the tears that were threatening to spill out again, blinking rapidly while looking at the ceiling. None of the two other boys mentioning anything about it.

“Why don’t you find something for me too, _Gogy_?” Nick puckered his lips on George’s directions.

“What did you just call me?” George only made a disgusted face back. “And no, you’re an okay coder at best…”

“Well I-”

“AND you wouldn’t be apt for the job when you barely have free time with all your pending assignments, so don’t give me that look.”

"...Fair enough."

Conversation seemed to come and go easily again, Clay really missed that. He felt like he could open up a little more even.

“My friend called me the other day too, apparently his boyfriend broke up with him and he was a sobbing mess.” A pause. Neither Nick or George made a comment about it, so he assumed he was safe. “I wanted to comfort him but I wasn’t really doing well myself and I feel like I failed him.”

“Hmm, that’s rough.” George only hummed, not skilled at comforting people and unsure about saying anything else.

Nick, on the other hand...

“It doesn’t sound like you could have been able to do much even if you were okay, dude” He playfully pushed Clay slightly with his shoulder, making this boy bump his legs against George's thighs mildly. “Don’t beat yourself up about it, facetime him tomorrow and see if you can watch something together and cheer him up?”

“Yeah, Karl is the type to rewatch old cartoons when he’s down, he’d like that…” A small smile. “What about you guys?

“What about us?” George, still avoiding his eyes, moved just enough so his thighs brushed constantly against Clay’s bent legs. He started to unconsciously bite his lips.

“Yeah, you both are just hearing me talk about my shit and you haven’t said anything about yourselves… and I know you two have issues going on, just spill it, c’mon.”

“You just don’t want to be the only vulnerable here!” Nick laughed heartily.

“Maybe...” Then it was time for Clay to look at his hands and avoid their eyes, suddenly feeling shy. “But I also care about you two.”

It felt like another piece of a puzzle fell into place, this time in George’s mind.

“I've been getting calls and voicemails from my ex.” Nick spoke first with a serious tone, a humourless look on his often cheerful face. “She was kind of controlling when we were dating, but now it’s getting creepy to be honest, and I don’t want to hurt her feelings but it's stressing me out.”

“That’s fucked up, has she tried anything else?” Clay never had had to deal with crazy exes himself, but he knew of friends who had very bad experiences, and thinking about Nick going through the same made him feel ill at ease.

“Nah, I doubt she will, but it’s still a little scary.”

“You should block her.” George said with simplicity in a neutral tone.

“Damn Gogy, what part of I don’t want to hurt her feelings did you not get?”

“Yeah, but if you don’t hurt her feelings, she will hurt yours. Maybe something even worse.” The way George explained himself made sense in Clay’s mind. Being selfish was the best course of action sometimes, or that’s what his gut told him. “It’s whatever for me, but you should think of yourself first.”

“It’s that what you always do? Think of yourself first?” Nick said this in a small voice with a light tone, trying to avoid an argument. He truly felt conflicted about George’s vision on the matter and wanted to understand his reasoning. Luckily, George caught his tone and didn’t take his words to heart.

“Yeah, who will if I don’t?”

“Your family?” Nick suggested.

“I’m not close with them.”

“Your friends?” Offered Clay.

“The ones who don’t text me back once I leave the country or the ones who call me a “cold ass heartless bitch”?”

This was the perfect moment for an apology and Nick, for once, swallowed his pride to do so.

“Sorry about that. Sometimes you just… feel detached from us, like you didn’t like us.”

George did not respond, he was looking to his right, through the open window in their living room, night sky bright, but the surrounding buildings brighter.

“Do you not consider us your friends?” Clay asked, although he thought George wasn’t going to reply.

To the surprise of all of them, George turned his head and looked at them directly, eyes unreadable.

“I guess I do, even if Nick gets on my nerves every single day.”

“Hey-”

“I do like you guys.” His cheeks started to turn red, heating up in embarrassment at admitting out loud he actually cared about them, a lot. This was the first time he allowed himself to think about their relationship. Not roommates anymore in his head, but friends. “I was not very talkative when I was younger, most kids were pretty annoying I guess, and my parents were strict about letting me go outside or hang out with other kids, so I just spent most of my time in my room playing games and learning stuff by myself.” He looked away, to the window again. “I do enjoy your company, but saying some stuff is hard, I’m not used to it.”

Clay nodded even when he knew George couldn’t see him.

“That explains a lot.” He faced Nick then. “What about you, Pandas?”

“I don’t know, I was a pretty normal kid. A little shy maybe?”

“You said your parents…?”

“Yeah, they fought a lot, but I wasn’t at home most of the time, I’d leave to go out and play with some friends.” Nick smiled sadly then.“I always came back home and found something broken in the living room. I know there wasn’t anything I could do, but I still felt bad for not helping my mom somehow.”

“Shit, I’m sorry man.” Clay instinctively rose one of his hand towards Nick’s right bicep, stroking it lightly. George followed the movement with his eyes without commenting anything.

“It’s okay, my mother got fed up after a couple years so she got a divorce and we moved to Houston.”

“Where were you living before?” George asked out of curiosity.

“Uh.. Greece.”

“You are Greek?!” Surprised, both George and Clay asked in tandem.

“I mean, I guess I'm half Greek? My mother’s family is from there, I was born in Texas but I lived in Greece for most of my childhood.”

“That’s pretty cool.” Commented George, emitting a long whistle.

“I guess so.” And Nick laughed louder than he should have considering what time it was, but neither George or Clay had the heart to silence him.

The wall clock marked 2:46 A.M.. It was a weekday, should they have gone to bed sooner? Probably. Were they going to mess around a little more? That would have been the case any other day, but the truth was that they all felt exhausted. George hadn’t even eaten dinner that night, Clay had left one of his assignments half way done, and Nick hadn't taken a shower after coming back to the dorm. But all that could wait for tomorrow, they all agreed mentally.

George pulled the blanket abruptly, Clay and Nick protesting when the cold hit their bodies. Between laughs, each one headed to their bedrooms lazily, stepping on the others’ feet in the dark and pushing each other like little kids.

Clay didn’t even bother to change into his pajamas, still in Nick's hoodie and a pair of old basketball shorts. He merely turned off his computer, and slipped into bed, making sure his phone's alarms were on not to oversleep the next day.

He didn't get to fall asleep because not long after, he heard knocking. Nick didn’t wait for Clay’s reply before opening the door and letting his head in.

“Hey Dream… do you mind if I…” He didn’t seem like he was going to finish, and Clay was at a loss, he could barely see Nick in the dark.

“Pandas, I can’t read your mind.”

“Sorry, I meant... would you mind if I slept with you?”

Clay chuckled tenderly. It was a rare sight to see Nick being so bashful, a side of him that he enjoyed interacting with.

“Sure.”

Nick made his way to the bed timidly, like he was scared that Clay would change his mind in the last second.

“George said no, you know, and you don’t have to say yes out of pity, you can also just-”

“Nick, _it’s alright _”__ Clay reassured him, making some space for Nick to lay beside him, voice filled with patience. “I don't mind, I promise.”

Clay wasn’t particularly big, but Nick was and he made the bed creak quietly with his weight. The space was limited, but after a little pulling of pillows and blankets here and there, Clay found himself as the small spoon, slotted in Nick’s arms with his back on the other’s chest. Nick’s warm breath on the back of his neck made his own breathing accelerate a little. But even though he could hear his heartbeat inside his ears, he didn’t feel nervous in the slightest.

He felt at home, like the final piece of a mental puzzle in his mind had finally found its place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that clip of dream saying “everything will be okay, sometimes it seems like it won’t, but everything will be okay. there’s been many times in my life where i thought like nothing was gonna be okay, but it always was in the end.” lives 24/7 rent free in my head
> 
> next chapter we take a closer look into george's and sapnap's point of view ! hopefully i will make them justice hehe


	4. Yellow acacias

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is focused completely on sapnap and george ! thus, "clay" is not mentioned as such, but as "dream" since that's how sapnap and george know him as.
> 
> these were supposed to be two short stories, but they went out of hand and each one ended up being almost as long as a singular chapter so………… enjoy :)

So the party was going bad.

George didn't even know why he had agreed to go. He figured that he could try and make some more friends there when Luke invited him, but truly, why did he trust a kid from the marketing department? The party was filled with people who clearly had insane social skills, unlike him.

He felt completely out of place, but he had promised to stay at least until eleven before leaving.

It was eight.

While he was dwelling on why was he even there on his phone, trying to come up with an excuse (to give to no one) just to leave the corner where Luke had left him, a girl (wearing a cat girl costume, who looked very drunk to have been only an hour tops in the party) spilled half her cup of… whiskey? on his outfit, a Ravenclaw uniform.

Well, the night was going to be longer than he thought.

The girl, seemingly unaware of what had happened, just fled the scene as fast as she had appeared, while a guy around George's height, wearing a chicken head, approached him taking the head mask off to laugh at him.

Great.

When the guy had stopped laughing, he spoke to him.

"Hey, want me to help you?"

George quickly double checked this guy. He seemed to be around his age, probably, young facial features and bright white smile contrasting with his dark complexion; short and curly black hair slightly twisted in different directions because of the chicken head he had been wearing.

"What?" George asked more in confusion than surprise.

"Do you want me to help you? With the shirt I mean, I have a spare one upstairs."

Sketchy. George wasn't really sure about following random people out of necessity, that's how you get jumped and killed. The thing was, he had already gone to a Halloween party at a frat house, filled to the brim with random people he didn't know. He had been standing on the same corner sipping from a can of beer for quite some time. He was far from being safe. What the hell.

"You live here?" George supposed so, but he wanted to start a conversation that wasn't related to his wet shirt sticking grossly to his chest.

"Yeah!" The boy assumed George was accepting his offer, so he started to walk towards the stairs, waving a hand in George’s direction for him to follow. "Just for this year, I'm going back to London when I'm done!"

His voice was hard to hear over the loud music that was blasting around them as George followed him, pushing his way through the crowd.

"You are from London?" That caught George by surprise, his accent wasn't the typical cockney he was used to hearing back at his home country.

"I guess! Been living there for a long time anyways!" He turned around in the middle of the stairs, right next to a guy who was crying on the phone, asking whoever was on the other line not to break up with him. "Are you from London too? Your accent isn’t that noticeable."

"Yeah... I've been living with two Americans these past months." He laughed, making the other boy laugh too.

"I'm Ponk, by the way."

" _Ponk_?"

"Yeah, what's up?"

George considered. He really did not care. He was living with someone named (apparently) "Dream", and another guy who went by "Pandas", why was "Ponk" supposed to be surprising now?

"Nothing. I'm George."

Once on the first floor, Ponk guided him to his room, one door to the right in a long hallway. Ponk apologised for the messiness, and ran to his wardrobe to look for a white shirt to hand to George. The room wasn't particularly small, but it was big enough to keep a bed, a wardrobe, a desk, and a small space with a table filled with cables and two cameras of different sizes. The walls were covered in hundreds of movie posters. George was not big on movies, but he had to admit the collection looked quite impressive.

"Alright, here you go." Ponk turned with a white shirt on his hand, neatly folded in comparison to the pile of clothes at the foot of his bed. "I'll be out so you can change!"

"Thanks.”

Swiftly, George changed shirts. Ponk seemed to have the same size as him, but with how skinny George was, it looked slightly baggy on his frame —not that he wasn’t used to it by then. Without messing around the room too much, he left to find Ponk waiting for him patiently on his phone.

"Hey, it looks good!"

"Yeah, thanks again.” George replied shyly, unsure how to thank a complete stranger. Ponk didn’t seem to mind his awkwardness at all.

"Glad I could help you man!" He shoved his phone in his back pocket and pointed towards the stairs. "Want to come get a beer with me and some friends?"

George considered it for only half a second. Wasn't that why he came here for? To make more friends? He wasn’t going to turn down the opportunity, although he was somewhat nervous... But he owed Ponk one, _and_ he was curious too.

"Sure."

George followed Ponk once again to the first floor, and then to the back garden, where there were a little less people, some smoking weed as George could smell, and some playing on an inflatable pool — a poor choice in George’s judgment with how cold the temperature was.

  
  


"This is Alyssa." Ponk introduced him to a blonde girl with a funny pumpkin costume, who greeted him with a kind smile. Turning to a guy (the tallest guy George thought he had ever seen in his life) who was wearing a… creeper costume? Ponk introduced him too. “That's Sam, Callahan" He continued, pointing at a guy standing next to Sam, this one wearing a reindeer costume with a bright red nose. "Ant, and his boyfriend" He finished turning again to two guys, one with a cat costume and the other with what looked to George like a Strawberry Shortcake doll outfit. 

"Did you forget my name?" The guy next to Ant asked Ponk, offended.

"I've JUST met you!” Ponk tried to defend himself.

"How did you forget my name then?!"

Everybody started cackling, even George. He felt his nerves leaving him as Ponk and the other guy (”Red” apparently) continued to playfully bicker while the rest turned to each other to resume their conversation about a new videogame George had only heard about.

_They are fun_ , he decided, and found himself leaning into a near wall, Alyssa asking him about his degree, Callahan making weird faces behind her trying to make him laugh (which he kind of succeeded in), and Sam offering a plastic cup filled to the top.

  
  
  


…

  
  
  


There was a point in which George started talking. He hadn’t been very talkative so far, rather, he let the others lead the conversations. No one seemed to mind that he remained secretive and replied vaguely to most of their questions, somehow that made them more curious about him.

But after a couple hours of drinking, feeling the alcohol warm up his body little by little, he realised he started to talk a lot more. He wasn't sure about what, he wasn't sure anyone was listening (Ant was making out with Red on his lap, both on the floor; Alyssa was mumbling something and falling asleep on Sam's shoulder, who was smoking a joint in peaceful silence; next to them, Callahan was sitting on a stolen chair from the kitchen, playing something on his phone), but the point was that George started talking, a lot.

Ponk _was_ listening, and he was listening carefully.

"But, you know? like..." George thinks Ponk won’t understand, he doesn’t _know_ Dream and Nick (not like he does), he knows _of_ them because George hasn’t been able to stop himself from rambling about his roommates, first complaining about them, but ultimately… "I like them, fuck! They are so funny... and they care about me! I could only count with one hand how many times my _friends_ -" He exaggerated the sarcasm in his voice, making quotation marks with his hands. "-back in London have truly cared about me instead of just mocking me." A hiccup escaped from his mouth, interrupting his thoughts momentarily. "Dream… he keeps cooking spare food for us, who does that? He is a little obnoxious and loud, but he is very charming, I guess... And Nick is so fucking annoying, but he is also really cute sometimes, he does this thing with his nose when he laughs and I can’t stop laughing either."

Ponk just nodded, with a dumb smile on his face, like he was hiding some short of secret that George was not allowed to know just yet. George kind of wanted to punch him.

"And... listen, when we're all together I feel like I can say stupid shit."

"I mean…"

George didn’t even let him finish, raising a finger in front of his face.

"Shut up! I know that I’m a little drunk and I’m saying some stupid shit, but I mean, like… _actual_ stupid shit. The type that people are usually embarrassed to say out loud while sober..." George ran his hand through his hair. "Ponk, I just... I really really like them."

"Do they like you too?"

George whispered to himself more than for Ponk to listen.

"God, I sure hope they do..."

They probably didn't, there was no way, right? They all had opened up not too long ago, but… They spent a few more nights during the weekends talking about their problems since _that_ day, consoling each other and playfully messing around, getting closer and bolder with their affections. Especially Dream and Nick towards each other, George noted.

George made sure to talk with Nick calmly from that day. He discovered Nick could actually listen and act mature when he wasn't being yelled at. Dream seemed happier too, he would blast Billie Eilish at weird hours of the day and sing out of tune, which _was_ annoying, but ultimately George did not mind.

(And it made him and Nick laugh.)

Nick wasn't a big sports fan, but he would stick by when there was a match that George and Dream wanted to watch. In exchange, they would watch an anime with Nick and pretend to be as excited as Nick pretended to know about soccer —which wasn't a lot, but he really tried his best.

It was as if there had never even been days in which they wouldn't do anything else other than scream and fight with each other.

But George… he couldn't be sure they _really_ liked him, right?

Ponk could almost see George's brain short circuiting. He did not know the other British boy for long, but he could tell George was not used to being vulnerable if his shaking hands on his empty cup was anything to go by. He tried to be gentle with his next words.

"Why don't you just… ask them out?"

Something clicked inside George's brain, although not in the most expected direction.

"I'm not in love with them, what?"

Ponk chuckled.

"You seem like you are?”

_What?_ That was not- George didn't…?

“They are my FRIENDS!"

“YOU ARE IN LOVE!"

“YOU'VE KNOWN ME FOR LIKE, FOUR HOURS!”

Ponk laughed hysterically, but tried to calm down George, clearly agitated.

“Look man, I'm not here to judge you."

George was confused, Ponk was wrong, for sure. He wasn't _in love_ with his roommates, that was ridiculous. Utterly bizarre. He didn't even think he had ever been in love with anyone, had he? He thought about his ex girlfriend, did he like her? Yes, she was very pretty and kind, the type of girl his parents would approve of. Did he love her? Something about the way she controlled his schedule and complained about how he did things never sat right with him, so George dared to guess that couldn't have been love.

He liked a boy too, once. They weren't in the same classes, but he would often chat in the nearby buildings with some of his classmates. Was he majoring in arts? Their building was pretty close to his, and he seemed like the artsy kind of guy. His… crush? never went too far, unsure of what his parents would say. And it wasn't like he was going to just… approach him and talk to him out of the blue. Nothing good could have blossomed from that, he told himself, it hadn't been love either.

Ponk sensed George's distress in the silence, so he tried to calm him once again.

"But hey, don't listen to me, listen to yourself."

By the way George's face contoured in anguish, Ponk realised that that was not the smartest thing to say.

George was horrible at listening to himself. He was often very indecisive, unable to pick between infinite possibilities when presented the opportunity, he always felt like he was drowning in options. Which ones were good? Which ones were _better?_ He grew up with his parents controlling every aspect of his life. Now that he was free, he felt confused about what he was supposed to do without any guidance.

He didn't want to fuck this up. Nick and Dream were the best thing that had happened in his life in a long while. His grey days had brightened and he felt motivated since God knew when to work on plugins for Minecraft aided by Dream's and Nick’s enthusiasm. He felt like there were people who actually cared for him and his passions.

He wanted to show his gratitude, but... did his silent actions express what he couldn't articulate with words? Did Dream and Nick know how much he appreciated their goofiness? Their carefree behaviour? The confidence in their decisions? Could they know by how he bought them small things here and there? With how he offered his help whenever they needed it? He felt encouraged to try new things he would have turned his nose to in the past thanks to them. He liked them. Did he love them? Both of them? He...

"I feel sick." was the only thing that came from him after mentally setting on fire his own brain.

"Oh, uh" Ponk braced to hold George up in case he fainted or decided to throw up right there and then.

"No, I-" George froze in place, suddenly hyper aware of his surroundings. "I think I should get going." He couldn’t find his phone, where the hell was it? "What time is it?"

"Uhh… it's about to be 1 A.M."

"Ah, fuuuuck." Okay, his phone was in one of his back pockets, good. But now...

"I’m the designated driver today, do you want a lift home?" Ponk offered, seeing panic on George's face and guessing he was brought to the party in a car.

George felt bad about taking advantage of Ponk so much, but he had come with Luke, and being so late he did not feel like walking back to the dorm so... he nodded with resignation.

"I'm sorry, I still have to get a car of my own."

"No problem man, you can drive me around sometime when you do get one."

George laughed at that.

“Promise.”

Saying their goodbyes, Ponk and George walked around the house to leave, there were lots of people drunk on the floor, some still dancing, but most just either drunk or high (or both), talking on some corners; a small group playing cards against humanity on the kitchen table could be heard laughing loudly.

George made sure to get some water before heading to the car alongside Ponk. He wasn’t exactly drunk, but he was starting to feel thirsty and his head was spinning at the least appropriate moments.

On the drive to the dorm, Ponk gave George his number. He told George he had had fun that night and that it would be cool to see each other sometime, maybe on campus, to get lunch or something. George was very happy and, with a small smile on his face, he agreed. Ponk also talked a little while George listened, not commenting anything.

“You know, I don't have a say in what you do with your roommates, but when you were talking about them...” “ _and it was a lot_ ” he added under his breath while George rolled his eyes. “You seemed very happy.”

George considered that in silence.

“You were right, we’ve only known each other for a handful of hours, but the only time I saw you genuinely smile was when you were talking about those two.” George's cheeks were starting to heat up, what was wrong with him? “Well, and when Callahan tripped and fell on the pool… but to be fair that was pretty funny.” and they both laughed once again at the recent memory.

Ponk continued with a serious, yet not stern tone.

“Regardless of your feelings, you seem to be pretty close with them, and that's hard to find, dude." He gave George another smile. “Keep them close.”

Before George had time to get lost in his thoughts, Ponk was stopping his car right in front of his dorm.

“I will.” George replied simply, a genuine smile on his face. He left the car, closing gently the door. “Also, uh…” _C’mon, no need to be awkward_. “It was nice to meet you, and thanks again for the ride, Ponk.”

“No problem!”

As George was looking for his keys to enter, Ponk shouted from his car.

“Don't forget to give me back my shirt though!”

“It’s my birthday, can't you just gift it to me?”

Ponk started laughing.

“No way! You’re joking, right?”

“I am not!” George laughed too, he could have joked any other time saying it was his birthday to get his way, but the fact that it was true made it funnier. “It’s past midnight, so it’s November the 1st already, right? It’s officially my birthday.”

Ponk thought about it, eyes narrowing.

“Alright birthday boy, consider it a gift from me!”

“I will!”

Both laughed again, Ponk leaving in his car and George entering the building.

  
  


The elevator ride never felt longer. George couldn’t stop thinking about what Ponk had told him. He was not in love, he kept repeating to himself. There was no way. He appreciated Dream and Nick, they had been really good friends, he was just confused. Both of them seemed close to each other anyways. Closer than with him.

He sighed, he was not going to argue with himself again, it was fine, it was just fine. So what if Nick liked to hug Dream whenever he could? George wasn’t comfortable with physical touch, it was too warm and it felt too intimate, he hated having his personal space invaded, he told them so. What if Dream only leaned over and cuddled with Nick? If he did that to him, he would have pushed him away. There was no point for jealousy to take root in his heart. He did not crave any of the contact they shared.

He entered the apartment, hearing some noise coming from the TV in the living room.

Nick and Dream were cuddling on the sofa, watching some anime with weird creatures being cut in half by magic Japanese swords of some sort. There was an empty pizza box on the coffee table, and some cups who seemed to have been filled with more vodka than coke by how strong the smell of alcohol was.

“Hey Gogy!” Nick yelled as soon as he saw George. Dream looked over Nick's shoulder, humming calmly as a greeting, green eyes looking deep into George’s brown ones. There was still some black paint around Dream’s eyes and some faux blood on one side of his chin.

“What are you guys doing?”

“Pandas wanted to watch this anime-”

“I wanted YOU to watch it, but you wouldn’t unless we watched it together so…”

George laughed bitterly, they were really close, he could only wish for them to think of him in that-

“Oh, by the way, we left some pizza for you in the oven!” Nick interrupted his thoughts. “Warm it up and come sit with us!”

_Huh?_

He walked to the kitchen and checked the oven. There was indeed one third of a pepperoni pizza inside. He turned the oven and heard Nick from the living room asking about how the party went.

He told them a little about some funny people he met. Dream commented about the horror house he volunteered to be in with some other people from his class to scare some kids, meanwhile Nick retold what he did at the small party he went to with a couple of old friends. He had gotten tired quickly, so he picked up Dream and both came back home. He had called George, but he did not pick up, so he assumed he was busy “having fun without us”.

(George checked and indeed, there were three missed calls from Nick.)

George left for a moment to change his costume for some baggy black sweatpants and a long sleeved blue t-shirt. The pizza was warm again by the time he came back to the kitchen, and George returned to the living room with it.

Nick was sitting up straight, Dream almost laying down on top of him, his face on Nick’s chest. When they saw him, they immediately separated, faces flushed, leaving an empty seat on the middle of the sofa for him to fit in.

George gulped inaudibly. He sat down, and Dream was quick to fetch a blanket laying on the floor to cover them all. He placed a hand on the brunet’s thigh, catching George by surprise at the same time that Nick leaned towards him, shoulders touching and black curls tickling his neck.

He didn’t complain this time.

George started to eat the pizza, while watching the tv, but he wasn't really paying attention or talking at all even though he had been rambling at the party not too long ago. All he could think about was how good it felt to be right next to Nick and Dream, both of them bumping his sides, playfully pushing him and yelling and laughing when a particular funny scene happened.

He felt loved, and he knew he was screwed.

* * *

They didn’t stay up for long after that, all of them were fairly tired after all.

Morning came, and although Nick couldn’t remember having put it, an alarm on his phone went off, waking him up abruptly.

“What the hell?”

Nothing could have ever come close to describing the look of horror that went through Nick’s face when he checked his phone: the alarm flashing the hour, 10 A.M., alongside a text in bold, big letters that read “ _Georgie’s birthday!_ ”.

“Oh no.”

Silencing his alarm quickly, he checked the bed on the other corner of the room, where George was turning a bit under his covers.

With uncharacteristic silence, Nick left his bed. He headed towards Dream’s bedroom, and entered without knocking the door. He found Dream exactly how he expected him to be: tangled in his sheets, one leg hanging from the bed, an arm in a strange position against the wall, and Dream’s hair all over the place, partly hiding his face, but not his mouth, open and drooling a little.

Nick had to recognize Dream looked adorable, but the memory of trying to sleep with the taller man a couple weeks ago was a nightmare. Not only Dream snore (which was bad by itself), but he also wouldn’t stop turning around, kicking and punching included. Although Nick loved being the big spoon, getting smacked in the face while he was trying to fall asleep was not exactly nice.

He pushed aside those thoughts and focused on the issue at hand.

“Dream…” He tried pushing the blond’s hair away from his face with one hand, pushing his shoulders with the other. “Dream, wake up…”

Dream woke up blinking slowly, eyes getting accustomed to the light coming from his window. He looked confused and didn’t move his body too much, but once he identified Nick next to him, he started to sit up, holding onto the Texan’s arm.

“Huh? Pandas?” He looked around his room, probably expecting to see George for some reason, as if he had gotten used to seeing both of them as an indivisible pair. “Did something happen?”

"It's George's birthday and I forgot about it, all shops are closed today, he is going to be pissed and I don’t know what to do.” Nick stuttered a little. The truth is that, although he wasn’t scared of George, he felt extremely guilty about the forgotten date.

Dream’s expression did not look any better than the one Nick made when he read his phone’s alarm note.

“Oh, _FUCK_ …”

Two seconds of silence went by before Nick paled at Dream’s words.

“...you forgot too?”

“...yes.”

Another second of silence, and Nick’s jar dropped, nerves getting to him.

“Oh my God, what do we DO?”

He started to pace around the room, while Dream was running his hand through his hair, trying to tame it.

“First of all, stop whispering so loud.” He checked his phone. “Second, uh… there has to be some shops open, right?”

Nick shook his head, uncertain.

“It's Sunday, I don’t think so… or at least, not the type of shops we need.”

“Maybe we could, like, bake a cake?” Dream arched an eyebrow, looking at Nick biting his nails. “Like, when you guys did breakfast for me, remember?”

“Yeah…” Nick smiled then, a small laugh escaping past his lips regardless of how nervous he was. “To be fair, we only did that because we didn’t know you that well, now I do have more of an idea what to get you next time.”

“Next time?” The grin on Dream’s face made Nick stumble, almost imperceptibly.

Nick wanted to deny it being a “next time”, yet he could only bite his tongue. He wanted to tell Dream a lot of things. Particularly, how he hoped their friendship wasn’t a one time thing that only comes with sharing a living space for a year, but that they continued to talk online and possibly hang out again in the future.

“...alright, get up! Let’s go to the kitchen and get started.” He said instead, trying a serious tone to urge Dream into moving quickly.

Dream hurried out of bed, not bothering changing his dark green pajama pants or the simple black tee he slept in. Not like Nick cared, he was wearing a pair of white basket shorts that were mostly covered by an oversized bright orange t-shirt with a crude joke on it. They all had grown comfortable enough with each other to walk around the apartment in their underwear, but being almost winter the temperature (even with the radiators on, keeping the flat warm) was not inviting to wander half naked like it was during summer time.

They made their way to the kitchen and silently started to check for the ingredients they had on the shelves and cabinets, making sure they didn't make too much noise.

While Dream was trying to read on his phone an easy recipe for a cake (giving up halfway and deciding to watch a video tutorial instead), Nick’s eyes kept drifting towards the blond man standing next to him.

As Dream instructed him to measure some ingredients, he couldn’t stop noticing details about him. His freckles always caught his attention, small stars sprayed carelessly all over his cheeks, shoulders and, for what he could remember, even legs. His skin wasn’t the milky white George’s was, it had an orange tint, clearly a natural tan from his exposure to the sun in Florida, similar to his own toasted skin. Dream's hair could have been called brown, but once again, the sun was responsible for having lightened it up with the years. It looked like gold to Nick.

Dream paid a lot of attention to how he looked, Nick noticed too. He wasn’t by any means a gym rat, he was tall and gave the impression of broad shoulders and strong arms, but his build was on the lanky side and he was not as strong as Nick (proved quite a few times through arm wrestling each other on boring days). His nails were taken care of, although Nick had seen him bite them a lot when he was trying to hide his agitation. His morning routine was the fastest out of the three of them, if you asked Nick, Dream seemed to be always in a hurry, no matter the day; it was like he was speedrunning his life the same way he had started speedrunning on Minecraft lately.

The way he couldn’t stay put in one place was kind of endearing too, Nick admitted to himself then. Dream was talking to him, moving his hands and pacing around the kitchen aimlessly without helping him with the measurement of the ingredients. He was going on and on about how one time his father almost set their kitchen on fire trying to cook cookies for his younger sister. Nick was not listening, well… he was, but not really. He felt captivated by Dream’s voice and soft wheezes, how he talked to the point his lungs almost didn’t have any more oxygen in them, to then take a deep breath to keep the story going.

There was so much passion inside him, like a big flame unable to go extinct. Nick could relate, but only to a certain extent. He felt a flame inside him too, a candle-like type of flame. Small and unsure, but that if left unattended, could cause a serious fire. Dream was a lot more reliable and able to, if not control his feelings, mask them really well behind a calm façade.

Nick? He jumped quickly to conclusions, yelled and messed around maybe a little too much. He couldn't stay silent or fake feeling a certain way. He couldn't stay calm and that frustrated him more than he liked to lead on. He had seen Dream lose his cool, it had been fun, but he was always quick to find his composure again unlike him. He really admired the older.

While measuring some flour and dumping it on a big bowl as Dream took on another task, Nick started to think about George too.

Nick wasn't oblivious to his own feelings, he knew that at some point, without meaning to, he had started to develop a crush on Dream, but it surprised him to realise he liked George too, a lot. " _As much as Dream"_ a voice in his head echoed, making him stop dead in his tracks while Dream kept whipping some cream manually like his life depended on it, not noticing Nick frozen in place.

George was kind of a wild card to him, he still wasn't sure he had figured the British out. Although at first George had been very individualistic and acted uninterested in both him and Dream, after warming up to them he had started to let them slowly into his mind, yet his true emotions still seemed to be covered under a veil of mystery.

It wasn't really of importance to Dream (or that's what Nick could guess by how he let George get away with a lot of one liners as answers), but for Nick it was kind of infuriating. As someone who was used to being very transparent and upfront with his opinions, it felt like walking on quicksand with George's comments and actions, some contradicting the others more often than not.

At times (not as often as Nick would have wanted) George would be very funny and playful, a devious smile in his face while he whispered to Nick a prank they could pull on Dream. Nick loved when George licked his lips, it meant that the oldest was up to no good, and the thrill of it kept Nick's blood running.

Nonetheless, George was not the oldest for nothing. Regardless of how much he liked to mess around and how childishly stubborn he could be, he would get serious when Dream or Nick needed help with anything. His words were sharp, but he moved gracefully and with gentleness in his heart. Nick wasn't 100% sure, but so far that seemed to be the case. " _Truly a tsundere_ " he said to himself, laughing out loud and distracting Dream a little, who smiled and laughed back confused.

  
  


After a while of cooking in complete (but comfortable) silence, and once the cake was rising in the oven while Dream was filling an improvised piping bag with frosting, he spoke up.

“Hey Panpan, what would you have bought for George if you had remembered with time?”

Nick was sitting on the kitchen table, looking through YouTube how to exactly use the piping bag, when he realised he didn’t really know how to reply to Dream’s question, so he looked back at the blond with a blank face.

“Yeah, I don’t know either.” Dream laughed, touching his hair and getting a little frosting on his bangs. “He doesn't talk about his interests a lot apart from Minecraft, does he?”

“He likes soccer, he told us he used to play..." Sapnap could recall vaguely.

“Chocolate raisins!” Dream exclaimed, surprising himself and Nick who jumped on his seat.

“Something for his PC too, he dedicates a lot of time on it.” Nick added after some consideration.

Exchanging some ideas, the morning went by and soon they could hear George approaching the kitchen, filled with the smell of a freshly baked cake. It certainly looked... like a cake, although they were dubious it would taste as good as it was expected from the name.

“What were you guys doing? I’ve been hearing you talk all morning.” George looked slightly exasperated. If Nick and Dream didn’t know better, they would have assumed he was actually angry, but they could tell he was just feigning annoyance.

Nick was on the right of George, and quickly approached him to envelope his whole frame in a hug.

This was a very calculated move that Nick had just thought about impulsively at the last second of acting on it.

The truth is, he was a very handsy person, there was not denying it. He found comfort in being able to be physically close to someone he trusted. The first days of living together only with George were kind of tortuous for him. Nick had hoped to get a roommate whom he could be chill around and get closer quickly with. George was not easy to approach, in fact, he looked at you like he would stab you if you got too close.

And then Dream came, and the relief that swept through Nick’s body and mind left him crying from happiness inside. Dream was exactly the type of friend he wanted and needed. Dream wasn’t necessarily as cuddly as him, but he didn’t mind Nick approaching him for a hug or to rest his chin on his shoulders to see what the other was up to.

Later on, while talking to each other the past weeks, George commented off-handedly being repulsed by physical contact. It came to no surprise, but both Dream and Nick had started to notice George’s lingering gazes whenever he caught them cuddling or hanging around the other’s personal space. At first, Nick thought George wasn’t comfortable with PDA in general, but it became clear fairly quickly that at some point, his mind had changed and he no longer wanted to be excluded from the touches he and Dream shared.

Nick could see George’s hands twitching in want, fear behind his wandering eyes, too scared? or too embarrassed? to admit he now longed for some type of physical comfort from his friends.

But he had decided (to be fair it had been Dream the one who suggested it) to start slowly approaching him. That last night when he leaned on the sofa towards George while Dream rested his hand on George’s leg was a test. George did not complain like the first times he had months ago, in fact, he stayed silent the whole time, his cheeks flushed, bottom lip between his teeth once he was done with his portion of pizza.

Dream had caught Nick before going to bed to comment about going slowly from then on, not wanting to push George too much.

( _“Maybe we should directly ask him?”_

_“No dude, he won’t ever admit he changed his mind and wants a stupid hug, you know how he is.” Nick countered, shaking his head._

_“Alright, but if he tells us to stop, we stop.” warned Dream in a serious tone, Nick nodding back, pensive look on his face, and Dream knew he was taking this seriously_.)

Hugging George so suddenly wasn’t exactly on Nick’s mind, he had thought he would do that some time in the future, at night after drinking a little too much to let George use being drunk as an excuse if he wanted to avoid talking about it in the future.

Truthfully, Nick was waiting for George to push him away, yell at him and even punch him in the face (none of those things were new between them), he could hear Dream’s breathing stopping and he could feel George’s body getting stiff.

After some awkward silence, Nick laughed without letting George go.

“Happy birthday Gogy, I’m sorry we forgot about it yesterday night.”

George’s shoulder relaxed and Nick felt a set of cold hands hug him back.

“Thank you.” With a very soft whisper George replied, sighing heavily next to Nick’s ear. “Oh, not you too.” Nick heard him say right after feeling another set of arms wrap around him from behind, enveloping George with him.

“Happyyy~ birthdaaay~ Geooorgee~” Singsang Dream, moving them from one side to the other, almost making them all fall to the floor. “Can we eat now? Pandas and I made you a cake, wanna try it?”

“Is it going to kill me?” George started to laugh, the most pure and lovely sound Nick had heard in his life, it made him shiver and hug George more tightly. He also felt Dream’s arms tightening around him.

“Ehhh, I could try it first if that makes you worry a little less!” Dream suggested, wheezing in between words. Nick’s heart was beaming with love.

George couldn’t stop laughing then, Dream neither, and Nick was having a hard time to catch a breath from cackling so hard.

Their laughs mixed beautifully, Nick never wanted that moment to stop. They couldn’t control their bodies, they all were shaking from laughing so much and tears were starting to come out, but they refused to let go of the others. No one could exactly point out what was so funny about the situation, but Nick thought there needn’t be a reason.

After a little while, they all calmed down and George started to force his way out of Nick’s and Dream’s hold on him.

“Okay, that’s enough, I want some cake now.”

Dream and Nick let him go begrudgingly, still giggling softly.

“You’re not allowed to make fun of us for how it looks.” Warned Nick, reaching for the cake on the counter.

Dream tried to hide the cake with his body from George, who was trying to push him to the side.

“Dream! It’s my cake, let me see!”

“Just close your eyes for a moment and sit at the table dude, oh my god!”

  
  
  


…..

  
  
  


The cake was alright. Could have been better if they had added a little more sugar, as Dream commented, but Nick solved it quickly reaching for some strawberry jam and dumping some on Dream’s portion ignoring the other’s protests between laughs.

George had a sly smile plastered on his face, he hadn’t dropped it since he tried the cake, not commenting about its taste while he ate it, obviously messing with Nick and Dream. He ate it as slowly as possible, taking his sweet time to clean his mouth with a napkin every time before sipping on the coffee Nick had prepared for him.

The younger men sitting right in front of George could only watch him in silence, throwing the brunet darts with their eyes, trying to get him to eat quicker and give them his verdict.

Almost about to end, however, George stopped, leaving his fork on the dish and bringing both his arms to his own biceps. He was only wearing a thin white tee and some black shorts.

“Alright, I’m actually getting cold, I will go get a hoodie-”

He didn’t get to finish his phrase or even start getting up from his chair when Dream suddenly stood up and ran out of the kitchen yelling “You keep eating, I’ll get a hoodie!”

Both Nick and George laughed loudly, seeing mere seconds later Dream rush into the kitchen with one of his hoodies, hanging it to George as soon as he entered the room.

“Here you go!”

George was still smiling, but his eyes widened just a little bit, barely noticeable. Dream was panting like he had run a marathon, trying to catch a breath, doubling slightly on himself, one hand on one knee, the other holding the green hoodie.

Nick couldn’t tell what it was, but he saw something flicker in George's eyes right before he rose a hand, not to grab the hoodie, but towards Dream’s bangs.

“You had some fronting on your hair, it’s been bothering me for a while.” He explained, taking the frosting out of Dream’s hair with his thumb, cleaning his hand on the napkin he had been using.

The action felt more intimate than any of them could have guessed it should have felt like.

George wasn’t smiling or looking directly at Dream anymore, but to his unfinished dish. His face started to heat up, he didn’t seem like he was going to need the hoodie any time soon.

Dream went from panting, dumbly smiling, to standing completely still, mouth open and eyes big, cheeks also turning red without his permission.

Nick, looking back between both of them, was at a loss. He didn’t feel like he was intruding, yet he wasn’t sure either what was his role in that situation. He felt something warm growing inside his chest, unsure of what that meant just yet.

After a silence that felt eternal, Dream seemed to have recovered and moved the hoodie closer to George.

“So are you still cold or…”

Without saying anything, George took Dream’s green hoodie and put it on unceremoniously, quickly returning to finishing his portion of cake.

“You could have at least picked another hoodie but your stupid yellow one, I hate this piss colour.” George muttered, mouth full of cake.

Dream frowned in confusion and Nick tilted his head to the side. Yellow?

“Dude, the hoodie is green, not yellow.” Nick corrected George.

“Oh… is it?” George looked at the sleeves, narrowing his eyes. “Well I’m colourblind, I can’t fucking tell.”

Both Dream and Nick looked at each other immediately, any awkward moment already forgotten.

“You’re colourblind? What?!” Dream screamed, making George roll his eyes.

  
  
  


…..

  
  
  


Nick wasn't as confused as he was happy, he just couldn't quite place the exact feeling.

Both him and Dream interrogated George about his colour blindness, curious at first how he had never mentioned it before, and then with a teasing tone once they realised George didn't feel offended by their jokes.

Dream and George were doing most of the talking, as Nick just looked between them with a big smile and loving eyes, starting to realise what the feeling was.

Dream was doing _the thing_ with his hands again while asking George questions, he was waving them around without control, clearly excited. At some point Dream pulled his phone out and tried to get George to tell apart some images focused on colours, the faces he put when he yelled " _oh, come on!_ " every time George got something wrong were hilarious.

George had stopped smiling widely now, but the corners of his mouth betrayed him more than once going up. Nick could tell he was trying to hold a laugh too whenever George brought his hands to his face, it was really cute.

  
  


As Dream and George kept talking, Nick started to panic if only just a little. He had already established with himself he had a big crush on Dream. George now too? That was… interesting. He wasn't sure how to handle that.

He knew he was quick to fall for others, getting attached fast and then falling out of love after a couple days. But it was much more different this time. Not only he apparently felt the same way about two people at the same time, but he did not feel any jealousy seeing them together.

He looked and looked inside his heart for any ounce of envy towards any of them that could help him choose one over the other, but he couldn't find anything.

What surprised him the most, was that he wasn't _just fine_ watching Dream put his hand on George's shoulder, or seeing the brunet smile sweetly at Dream when he thought the other was distracted on his phone. He found out he actually _liked_ it. He realised he was falling in love not only with them individually, but with them being kind and sweet to each other, with the idea of them being together, regardless of being involved in any way in that relationship himself.

Nick thought for a fleeting moment that he should have felt weird about feeling that way. But he didn't, and he wasn't going to force himself to ignore his true feelings.

  
  


The moment both Dream and George looked at him with smiles on their faces to ask if he was alright after observing them converse for so long without saying anything, Nick knew he was kind of fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo….. sorry for the long wait ! sapnap's story took so long idk why… also, let me know if i'm handling george’s characterization well so far, I STRUGGLE WITH HIM SM PLEASE
> 
> anyways…. the next chapter is special, i introduce three new people, two of them may appear again, but the third one is going to be a recurring one and will be important in the story eheheh can you guys guess who these three people are ? 👀


	5. Freesias

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first off, SORRY FOR THE WAIT LOL life’s been busy and i had lots of problems with this chapter, happy holidays and happy new year lol
> 
> this is +2k longer than intended AND i had to cut short SO MANY conversations and scenes….. sorry if its feels rushed nearing the end, i really didnt want this chapter to hit 6k lmaoooooo
> 
> also, its 2am…. any errors and some more editing will be done tomorrow morning maybe

Winter vacation was coming, and Clay couldn't stop himself from smiling.

"Hey, would you guys mind if a friend came from Florida?" He asked one evening, while the three of them were on the sofa, casually eating their recently arrived order of Chick-fil-a. "For like, a week. He would sleep with me, so don't worry about the sofa being occupied at night or anything..."

"Sounds cool!" Nick exclaimed with his mouth full of food.

George turned to him and nodded calmly.

"Yeah, I've got no problem, who is it?"

Clay’s face beamed. He didn’t expect any opposition from Nick, but he thought George would have protested with how small the apartment could feel like with three people already in it.

"Karl! He's the one I told you guys about."

"The one who went through that bad breakup, right?" George took a bite of a waffle fry, drenched on ketchup.

"Yes, he's doing better now.” Clay was really happy to see Karl laugh more and joke around again. “He is done with his classes earlier this semester, so he thought about coming here to meet you guys before I go back to Florida for Christmas.”

Nick opened his mouth, but George got ahead of him.

“You’ve talked to him about us?”

Clay looked at his nuggets with utmost interest. He ate one. George and Nick only stared at him in silence until he replied.

“Uh… yeah, a couple things.”

“What did you tell him?” Clay could  _ hear _ Nick’s smile in his tone. That bastard.

“Nothing important.” He answered simply, still finding safety in his nuggets.

Nick resisted the temptation to pry more (unlike George, who seemed to be ready to interrogate him) and suggested something that picked Clay’s interest instantly.

“Hmm... since you’re bringing a friend from Florida, what about introducing you guys to two friends of mine? They live a couple hours away from here, we can all meet up and throw a small party or something.”

Clay smiled softly. He wasn’t one for big parties, although he enjoyed being around people and loved the attention, he only did so when it was around friends he knew and trusted. Sure, he was easygoing and didn’t have trouble speaking in public, but the pressure of having to perform and present himself as the best in the room could get to him fairly easy. He wouldn’t show it, of course, why would he?

There was something about being with Nick and George, nonetheless, that filled his heart with courage. He felt lighter, like he could somehow fly and touch the sky.

“That would be cool, Panpan!” The honesty in his voice surprised him.

George frowned, fake contempt dripping from his voice.

“Ehh, it’s alright, I guess I’ll have to tag along to avoid you idiots getting into trouble.”

“Oh c’mon, you and Pandas are the ones who go  _ feral  _ when I’m not babysitting you!” Clay pointed out, throwing another nugget to his mouth.

“Shut up, you’re just boring like that.” barked George back, angrily biting another fry.

Nick laughed, and the other two followed him, expression softening in George’s face at the younger’s chuckles.

  
  
  


…

  
  
  


Later that week, Clay received confirmation from Karl that he was arriving the next Monday. Nick had similar news, both his friends also agreeing to come over the same day to spend the night there.

Once again, George saw himself in the predicament of having his two roommates giving him the puppy eyes, silently asking him to get alcohol for them. Which he refused at first (he really tried), but complied in the end: if he was going to have to deal with new people on top of Dream and Nick, he sure wanted to be a little tipsy at the very least.

  
  


Once the first week of December came around, Clay and George had been able to get a hold of a second hand car, both deciding to share it; and although Clay used it way more than George, the british didn’t mind paying for the gasoline too.

  
  


Clay was, that morning, getting inside that car to head to the airport to pick up Karl, while Nick and George stayed at the dorm cleaning up their messy living room, preparing not only for Karl, but for Nick’s friends too, who were supposed to arrive later in the evening.

  
  


“So like, who are your friends? You haven't even told us their names.” George was fighting a nasty stain of something sweet on the coffee table that he had discovered upon moving someone’s laptop.

“Oh, they are like... very old friends I met playing on Hypixel when I was thirteen.” On the other side of the living room, Nick was deciding what hoodies from the pile was his’ and which ones were George’s, although ultimately he realised it didn’t matter, not only because they all shared clothes often, but because all the hoodies needed to go straight to the washing machine.

“Damn, you’re old.”

“I don’t want to hear that from you, you’re like 5 years older than me, grandpa!” Nick countered sticking out his tongue in George’s direction, who laughed under his breath.

“So you’re not telling me their names?”

“You can call them Bad and Skeppy, I don’t call them by their real names either, we all got used to our Minecraft usernames I guess.”

George did not know why his face even countourned in confusion at more weird nicknames, nobody appeared to take their names seriously nowadays, it seemed.

“Okay, c’mon, turn the washing machine on and help me move the sofa, I think there is some stuff under it and we still have to mop the floor.”

“Aye aye captain!”

  
  
  


…..

  
  
  


“CLAY!" A familiar voice screamed from behind him, right before he felt someone jumping on his back. Instinctively, he brought his hands to his hips where two legs were closing around him.

The arms around his shoulders were more so around his neck, so he had to slightly jump in place to reposition the friend on his back.

"Hey Karl, I see you still are as heavy as always.” He didn’t even try to lower his friend down, fully knowing Karl wasn’t going to let him go just yet.

“Hehehe, of course! One doesn’t just keep this body in shape without a good diet!” He moved from side to side, trying to make Clay fall over.

Luckily for him, Karl didn’t mess around on his back too much and, after leaving the brunet on the floor and turning around for a quick hug, they both headed to the car with Karl’s suitcase.

On the way back to the apartment, Clay realised he had not warned Karl about his “new name”.

“Hey Karl.” He spoke up after a couple minutes of calmly listening to music while Karl hummed excitedly.

“Yeah?”

“You know, like, when I told you about how I felt more free to be myself here? How, like, I wanted to start fresh?” He recalled the late night calls they had shared. It wasn’t as if he didn’t want George or Nick to hear him (because he had already opened up about that to them), it was merely that he always found himself rambling while he was alone in his room, with a childhood friend on the other side of the phone.

“Oh…” Karl stopped playing the drums in the air. He was still a little confused about what Clay had meant with being himself. They had talked uncountable times about it since he had left Florida, yet he couldn’t tell what exactly had changed on Clay’s behaviour. He guessed he would have to wait and see. “Yeah, I remember! What about that?”

“I gave George and Nick a new name, they don’t know my real name.”

Clay saw Karl smile deviously from the corner of his eyes.

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah.”

“ _ Oh my god… _ ”

“Yeah, nop, don’t even think about it.” Clay immediately interrupted the brunet’s train of thought raising a finger to his face. “We’re not giving you a fake name too, I already introduced you to them as  _ Karl _ , dude.”

“Oh boooooh” Karl puffed his cheeks, making Clay chuckle. “What do they call you then?”

It took Clay a split of second to realise he was going to get memed by Karl as he confessed his new name.

“...Dream.”

“You’re a nimrod, what kind of name is that?!” Karl burst out laughing, unable to contain some tears.

“Shut up, I had to come up with it on the spot, alright?” He ran his fingers through his bangs. “Don’t call me “Clay” in front of them… actually, don’t call me Clay at all while you’re here, they will try to eavesdrop when they are not in the room, I can see it already.”

Karl giggled, little hiccups coming from him while he still tried to control his laugh.

“Okay,  _ Dream _ .”

  
  


…..

  
  
  


Entering the dorm while Nick and George were in a heated argument about why leaving a tray with some eggs on the floor right behind the sofa so someone (George) could step on them as a prank was not a good idea (especially when they were supposed to be cleaning up), was not exactly how Clay expected to introduce Karl to his roommates.

But beggars can’t be choosers, so he had to interrupt them with a loud cough, that made both of them whip their heads at him and the recently arrived guest.

Nick was still wearing the stupid creeper t-shirt (“ _ I want to give your friend a good first impression! _ ”) that Clay had told him to take off. George on the other hand... although his blue hoodie and his skinny jeans looked casual, the recently stepped on eggs on his socks were not exactly classy.

“George, Nick, this is Karl.” He made a small gesture towards the shorter boy next to him, who was smiling ear to ear. “Karl, these two clowns are my roommates.” And he made the same gesture once again in George’s and Nick’s direction, both of them protesting at their introduction with a low “ _ hey! _ ”

“Nice to meet you!” Karl immediately greeted them, walking past Clay and holding out his right hand for Nick and George to shake it.

Nick's face lighted up and greeted Karl back loudly, while George with his more reserved demeanor could only nod, shaking Karl’s hand briefly with a tight smile.

“Nice one!” Karl commented on Nick’s direction while pointing out at George’s feet, snickering like a little kid at the british’s irked expression.

“Hey Dream, I like this one!” Nick yelled, a toothy smile plastered on his face as George grumbled taking off his socks and Karl cackled noisily.

  
  


Clay sighed in relief.

  
  
  


…..

  
  
  


After getting chinese takeout, exchanging embarrassing stories about Clay (Karl with old ones, and George and Nick with new ones) and playing on the PS4 for the whole evening (in which George mostly died on purpose quickly to pick up his phone and throw Clay some strange glares), Nick’s phone lighted up with a message from his friends.

“They are arriving in 10 minutes!” He informed the rest.

George was on one of the corners of the sofa, in the middle and on the other corner, Nick sat with Karl perched to his bicep, looking into the message that had arrived on the Texan’s phone. Clay had brought his beanbag from his room, and was sitting on it on the left side of the sofa, glancing towards George whenever he felt his eyes on him.

“Okay, we should tidy up a little and go out, guys.” Nick started to stand up, helping Karl in the process, who seemed reluctant to let go of his arm —not that Nick looked uncomfortable in the slightest.

George and Clay quickly stood up too and helped the other two boys to take the used containers to the trash can.

  
  
  


…..

  
  
  


Once outside their apartment, Nick didn’t let Clay or George offer themselves to drive, since his car was far bigger and could accommodate all four of them, while his two friends to-arrive could follow them in their own car.

As the boys discussed the movies they could choose to watch, a claxon was heard from a car approaching the sidewalk and ultimately stopping right in front of them.

A tall white man with narrow shoulders, a big smile and square glasses greeted them with his hand as he hopped off the car. His hair was a light brown shade, slightly longer than Clay’s and not at all curly.

“Hey Pandas!” he called out, handing his right hand to him and shaking it with vigor.

“Hey Bad!” Nick replied back, another big smile on his face, pulling the other in for a quick hug between giggles.

From the other side of the car, a shorter brown guy with the messiest mohawk hairstyle Clay had ever seen, came out running, heading towards Nick, who opened his arms again to envelope him in a hug. Both of them spun in place yelling as the rest of them laughed.

“Damn Skeppy, you’ve gotten taller!” Nick joked, patting the other guy on the head.

Skeppy smacked his hand away, frown on his eyebrows forming.

“Shut up, we’re literally one inch apart!”

Clay felt George next to him straightening his back silently, trying not to bring attention to himself too much.

He laughed internally. George and Nick would often annoy each other and start senseless fights about their height at random moments just to try and win an argument. It was quite endearing, he thought, from his taller position.

“So…” Nick turned to his roommates and Karl, proceeding to introduce Skeppy and Bad, and letting the other boys present themselves to his long-time friends. Once everybody was done with the introductions, Nick gestured so everybody got in their respective cars.

  
  


The cinema wasn’t too far, but during the ride there, Nick couldn’t help himself and started asking what had been their impression of Bad and Skeppy.

George only shrugged with a disinterested face, always the chatterbox. Clay commented about how they both seemed to be complete opposites, to which Nick only could laugh and shake his head, whispering something to himself; and although Karl started speaking about how cool Skeppy’s hairstyle was, and how he thought about getting a haircut recently (to which Nick and Clay both objected vehemently with the argument that his long curly hair looked cute on him), the three roommates found themselves hearing Karl ramble inexplicably about penguins.

Clay smiled at that, and especially at how Karl would hit Nick’s arm while talking (he had called shotgun despite the fact that George clearly didn’t care about it, and how Clay would have been persuaded easily with a simple look).

Karl usually was a very nervous person and out of anxiety sometimes he would not talk and stay silent; Clay had feared he could feel uncomfortable around his new friends, but he had been incredibly wrong. George didn’t show it, but Clay could tell he would quickly develop a soft spot for Karl —everybody did—. Nick, on the contrary, had warmed up to Karl almost instantly with how touchy the shorter boy was. They were two peas in a pod, thought Clay giggling softly and making George look up from his phone.

“What’s up with you?”

Clay shook his head, looking into George’s eyes, who withdrew himself a little from Clay.

“You’re so weird.” He huffed, trying to pay attention to his phone again, but still checking from the corner of his eyes how Dream looked out of the window with fond eyes, like he loved the city so much he wasn’t able to tear his eyes apart from it.

The truth was that Clay was looking at the boys in the car through the reflection of the glass.

  
  
  


…..

  
  
  


After a lot of discussions, debating the pros and cons of every movie that they could potentially watch, and ruling out a couple of them, everybody agreed on watching  _ Venom _ .

Clay wasn’t particularly excited as he wasn’t fond of scary movies, and seeing a big black alien on the poster did not add up to the arguments of Karl about it not actually being a horror film.

George didn’t seem thrilled either, but not because he looked afraid (he did not, in fact, even bat an eye suggesting they could watch a movie titled  _ Eerie _ , that very much looked like it could have some serious jump scares). No, he simply had stated some time ago that he wasn’t one for movies. Nick and Clay found it odd, but that didn’t stop them from forcing the british to sit through several movie nights with them. Surprisingly enough, he did not complain as much as they expected he would.

  
  


Between some laughs, everybody took their tickets and headed to their respective seats in the middle row.

Skeppy, carefully balancing two big cups with coke, sat on one of the extremes; next to him, Bad carried some popcorn as he was catching up with Nick, who was holding his' and Karl's cups. Karl was in turn  animatlly chatting with Clay, eating already some of the popcorn he was supposed to share with Nick at his right. George, who was supposed to sit on the other extreme, carried some popcorn as he made sure that Dream didn't trip with both their drinks.

Once seated and after some giggles getting comfortable in their seats, the lights went off and the big screen in front of them was turned on, the movie starting without delay.

Truth be told, Bad and Nick had been right, it was not a scary movie in the slighless, Clay was laughing more often than not, and he got to hear George on his left side chuckling alongside the rest of everybody else.

  
  


At some point, Clay heard Bad’s laughing loudly, without a sign of stopping.

“Skeppy, stop!” He heard the voice of the man yell, followed by a couple people behind them shushing him to stop the noise.

There was a loud silence for a short moment, and then a scream was heard across the whole room.

“ _ GEPPY _ !” and then, a soft noise, very similar to the one of a popcorn bucket falling to the floor and spreading popcorn all over the floor.

A woman in the back rows yelled “ _ hey, silence _ !” and some people cheered her lowly. Karl, on Clay’s right, let him know to make some space for Bad to go out to buy more popcorn, but George interrupted him, getting into Clay’s personal space to whisper to Karl that he needed to go to the bathroom anyways, so he could buy more popcorn for Bad and Skeppy. Karl’s face illuminated in the darkness and turned to Nick to let him and Bad know the news.

Clay, still a little flustered after George’s proximity, watched as the shorter boy stood up and left his seat as silently as possible.

He turned his head to his right. Karl was perched to Nick’s left arm again, and he could distinguish Bad holding Skeppy’s hand on their shared armrest. He didn’t question it too much (although he noted his questions for later on) and stood up quickly too, leaving Karl with a confused expression.

  
  


Once out of the movie theatre, he stretched his legs, checking at the same time the signs pointing towards the bathrooms, promptly heading to them.

Inside, he found George washing his hands in the sink. He looked up, doing a double take, not expecting to see Dream standing there.

“Why are you here?”

“Everybody was kind of being gay in there.” He pointed with his thumb over his shoulders, pushing his tongue out jokingly.

George's face did not show any type of emotion as he replied without a second thought.

“And what? You felt left out and came to be gay with me in the bathroom?”

As soon as he said that, his eyes widened, cheeks turning a deep red. Clay, with a similar expression on his face, only looked back at George for a second, barely containing a wheeze, the corners of his mouth trembling violently.

George looked at the floor, closing his eyes and covering his face with his hands, embarrassed to the core. Clay had the decency to at least feel bad for him.

“Hey, it’s alright! I get you, no-”

“If you say ‘ _ no homo _ ’ I’m going to punch you.” Interrupted George, muffled voice behind his hands, but ashamed tone clearly recognizable.

“...I'm actually bi, and I was going to say  _ ‘no need to freak out for a joke’ _ .” Confessed Clay, low voice, a little self-conscious for his own bravery at that moment.

George waited in silence with his face in his hands until he felt himself in control again. He straightened his back and looked at Clay as calmly as he could appear. His voice only shaked a tiny bit, almost imperceptibly.

“Okay.”

Clay looked back at him, blank face as well.

“Okay.”

They stared at each other. The awkward silence they shared only lasted for less than a minute, even though it felt like hours. George broke it, disobeying all the alarms going off in his head.

“You know, I  _ am  _ gay.”

Clay blinked, confused. He blinked again a couple times more, unsure if George had actually said that or it had been his imagination. He decided to repeat himself, with an interrogative tone, hesitant of what George wanted from him with that revelation.

“....Okay?”

George huffed heavily, exasperated, like he couldn’t believe Dream didn’t understand what he was doing.

“I’m trying to be sensitive.” He supplied with patience.

Clay looked back at him narrowing his eyes, totally lost, more questions popping up on his mind at that.

“What are you talking about?”

Why was Dream acting so clueless? He was smart, George knew this, what was more: Dream was emotionally intelligent, he surely was messing with George. So Dream wanted George to spelt it out for him? Alright, he could do that, but this was the last time he was going to subject himself to… whatever that was, George told himself.

“You just came out to me, I felt like it was appropriate that I also came out to you.”

Something in Dream’s eyes let George know that his brain cells were actually working.

“Ah.” It was the only thing that Clay was able to say before a father and his son entered the bathroom, breaking the moment.

Both George and him exited the bathroom quickly after that, not daring to look or talk to each other at all, thoughts racing in both of their heads. They came back to their seats so fast, that neither had remembered to buy more popcorn for Bad and Skeppy.

Whatever, thought Clay, handing his and George’s popcorn bucket to a disoriented Karl, instructing him to give it to Bad and Skeppy.

  
  


George and him did not speak to each other for the rest of the movie.

  
  
  


.....

  
  
  


After the movie, they all left between more laughs and comments here and there about some parts, coinciding that the movie was funnier than expected with amazing action scenes. Even George, who wasn’t particularly enthusiastic about it at first, recognized it had been very good in the end.

Bad and Nick were disappointed there hadn’t been anything extremely scary besides the symbiote design (Clay was happy about it, even though he wouldn’t admit that out loud), but they enjoyed it all the same.

  
  
  


Back at the dorm, George didn’t miss a second to get in the kitchen and start preparing some drinks for everybody with Bad’s help (who commented offhandedly that he had worked at a bar before, catching George’s attention and sparking a long conversation about funny anecdotes with clients).

Nick and Clay, with Karl’s and Skeppy’s assistance, moved the sofa a little to make room for two chairs from George's and Nick’s bedroom alongside Clay’s beanbag.

Skeppy and Bad had planned to stay for the night and leave the next day, so they all got comfortable and started drinking once everything was ready and their order from Chili’s had arrived.

After zapping through several channels on the TV without finding anything good, Nick took it upon himself to find a series on Netflix they could all start watching. The relevance of the series to be picked went from  _ extremely important _ , to  _ okay, let’s find something that makes noise in the background while we chat and eat _ .

As they all were almost about to finish eating, Skeppy asked Nick if it was alright for him to smoke a blunt. Karl and George made a face.

Some debating later, they all agreed on opening the windows and letting Bad, Nick and Skeppy sit on the right side of the living room while they smoked; while Clay, Karl and George accommodated themselves on the left side of the room.

A couple of relaxed conversations came and went by, until Karl asked timidly (to no one in particular) if he could try smoking too, Clay’s attention on his phone vanishing instantly. He didn’t have any experience with weed, but he had heard about bad incidents with it from different friends, and he did not want Karl going through any of that.

However, Nick offered himself to share with him, no pressure in his voice, but a sweet tone that left goosebumps on Clay’s and Karl’s body. Karl took a drag from Nick’s blunt, and started to cough violently. Despite that first bad reaction from his lungs, he pushed himself two more times under Clay’s concerned glare. After that, he stopped, and suggested they could play something on the PS4, seemingly looking fine, maybe just a tiny bit more relaxed than normal in Clay’s judgement.

It didn’t last long until someone (who had it been? Clay’s mind started to  _ feel blurred _ , alcohol affecting his senses.) proposed to pick up their laptops and start playing Minecraft, of course.

Once everyone got ready and occupied either a table or a space on the floor to use their mouses, they started playing, mindlessly asking questions to each other as they all messed around in a realm.

“So, what do you guys, like, do?” George looked over the other side of the living room. Skeppy and Bad weren’t smoking anymore, but the window remained open, wind entering softly and messing with their hair.

“I own a public Minecraft server.” Bad started, an easy smile on his face. “MunchyMC, you heard of it?”

Clay eyes widened, peeling of his vision from his screen to look at Bad in disbelief.

“Wait, you’re  _ BadBoyHalo _ ?” His voice came out more high pitched than what he would have wanted. Bad nodded and Skeppy laughed scandalously next to him, like it was the funniest thing he had ever heard.

Karl turned to Skeppy then, a little lost on the Minecraft talk since he wasn’t a big player of it, and he was definitely not in the community to know about big servers or events going on.

“What about you, Skeppy?”

Skeppy stopped laughing, not abruptly, but everybody noticed his change in demeanor and how his soft laugh turned bitter right before stopping.

“I'm not doing anything at the moment.” He looked ashamed, eyes lost in the cup of rum with coke he was about to finish. “I dropped out of college not too long ago, I’m not sure what i wanna do.” He ended confessing at the end in a whisper.

Karl didn’t allow the mood in the room to falter for even one second.

“Hey, I dropped out of college last year, just switched majors this year and I’m all good, fully in one piece!” He exclaimed, making everybody in the room smile kindly at him, exchanging looks as they saw Skeppy’s expression lighten up. “Just take your time to figure out what you want, and then go for it! You got this, man!”

The childish laugh that came from Skeppy as he nodded intensively made Karl laugh too.

“You're right, thanks Karl!”

Having finished his own blunt, Nick exited the realm they were all playing in.

“Alright, get in MunchyMC, let's play some survival games!”

Everybody cheered thunderously (everyone drunk, half of them high on top of that) as they started playing between giggles, reflexes slow and less accurate in their aiming, but having fun ultimately.

  
  
  


.....

  
  
  


By the time the wall clock on the living room read 4AM, no one was yelling anymore or making random noises for the others to laugh, and Skeppy and George were, in fact, almost falling asleep in their places. Poking the british’s arm lightly, Clay woke him up enough for him to stand up with exhaustion, nodding to everyone and waving a hand before disappearing through the hall, heading to his shared bedroom.

Clay and Karl, sitting on the sofa next to Skeppy, decided to turn off their laptops as well, helping the sleepy boy out of his hoodie and handing him a blanket from under the coffee table. Soon he was fast asleep on the sofa, curling up on himself.

Bad didn’t mess around too much either before he was moving from the floor to fetch the inflatable bed he had brought with himself, starting to inflate it silently next to Skeppy on the sofa after Nick had moved a little the coffee table.

Karl’s feet wobbling did not go unnoticed by Clay, who told him to sit on his beanbag while he and Nick picked up some dishes and glasses, bringing them to the kitchen’s sink to be cleaned up at some point later the next day, a problem for their future selves.

Once most stuff had been taken out of the way, Clay helped Karl up and both walked slowly to his bedroom, making sure Karl had a firm grip on his t-shirt. Despite that, his friend’s hands were shaking, and his hold was maybe too tight to be normal.

Clay looked at him. Karl’s eyes were glassy.

“Karl, are you okay?” he asked as softly as he could, concern in his voice.

“Uh…” Karl blinked rapidly, looking through the hall in both directions. “I feel like someone’s following us?”

“Don’t worry, it’s just me.” Nick appeared from one side, approaching them carefully.

Karl immediately shook his head, hiding it further in Clay’s t-shirt.

“No, like…” He shook his head again, voice trembling. “Something else?”

Nick looked at Clay, who looked back, petting Karl’s head.

“He may be having a bad high?” Nick wondered out loud, placing a hand on Karl’s back, rubbing it gently.

Neither Clay or Nick saw it, but Karl closed his eyes, whole body shivering violently in Clay's arms, who hugged him tightly, bitterness in his chest bubbling. He shouldn’t have let Karl smoke, he would have trashed around, he would have yelled and complained about not being a little kid, but Clay shouldn’t have allowed it.

“Maybe? I have no idea, dude, you know what to do?” He wasn’t going to get angry at Nick, although he had offered, it was ultimately Karl’s call to accept it, he was an adult after all.

“Ehhh, there is not a lot we can do, to be honest…” Nick scratched his head. He had never had any problems when smoking weed, but he did know of friends who had gone through bad highs and he tried to think of some things to help Karl. “He needs to get some fresh air and sit down to try and relax, it feels kind of like an anxiety attack as far as I can tell.”

Clay knew about anxiety attacks very well, he didn't have them often, but they were overwhelming and seeing his friend like this, it worried him sick.  _ It’s going to be okay _ , he told himself, Karl was with him, he was safe.

The boy in his arms was sweating profusely and seemed at the verge of crying his eyes out.

“Can we sleep together?” He asked suddenly, voice low and muffled against Clay’s t-shirt.

“I mean, we were going to sleep in the same bed anyways.” A soft laugh escaped his lips, hoping it would calm down Karl a little.

Karl took a moment to reply, and when he did, he did it sheepishly, barely above a whisper.

“No, I mean, the three of us….” Without taking his face off Clay’s t-shirt, one of his trembling hands reached blindly for Nick, holding weakly onto his hoodie.

Nick looked up at Dream.

“Uh... Dude, I wouldn't mind but… I don't think the three of us are gonna fit in a bed.” He was pretty sure Dream wouldn’t mind either, right? They had slept together before, what was another time with another friend in the mix?

Karl looked up, tears spilling down his cheeks now. He looked at Nick like he had denied him the unspeakable. Clay embraced him once again and felt his t-shirt get wet with his friends' tears.

“Karl…” The blond boy started, but Nick interrupted him.

“Tell you what,” His voice was playful, trying to brighten the atmosphere. “You can sleep with me tonight, Dream snores and moves a lot, did you know?”

“He hasn’t changed in that regard, I see…” Karl left a soft, bemused huff. Against Clay’s chest.

_ In that regard? _ Clay wondered in what other aspects Karl thought he had changed in the last months. They would talk about it when he wasn’t drunk and Karl felt better.

“I’ve taken care of some friends with bad highs before,” Nick continued, catching Clay’s eyes, looking for any opposition in them. “So you’ll be good with me, what do you say?”

Karl looked at Clay, then at Nick, and nodded timidly.

Clay wouldnt have left Karl with Nick if he doubted for a second that he wouldn’t be able to handle Karl, and Karl seemed to feel safe around him (and Clay trusted Karl’s intuition), so he separated Karl from himself, helping him to get a hold of Nick, looking directly into the black haired man, clearly communicating with his glare to not fuck it up.

Nick hugged Karl and, in a swift movement, he picked the shorter man up, carrying him bridal style towards the bathroom to get Karl’s face washed.

“Good night, Dream!” Nick said, a tired laugh at the end. Karl truly weighed more than what he looked like he would.

“G’night,  _ Dream _ !” Karl giggled at his new name. He already seemed to be doing a little better, which calmed Clay’s nerves.

Clay laughed back and wished them a good night, warning them about falling asleep in the bathroom.

  
  


Coming back to his lonely and empty bed felt somewhat off. His chest was a little heavy, he wished he could realise what was inside it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that was something……. anyway, in the next chapter there is TWO kisses and i can finally add the tag "strangers to friends to idiots in love"
> 
> dunno when i’ll update, probably february ? i got finals coming at the end of this month, sowwy


	6. White jasmines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can finally add the idiots in love tag thank fuck
> 
> No excuse for taking so long to write this, i did have exams in january, but february felt… weird *shrugs*  
> To whoever is still reading, hope youre having an amazing day ! <3
> 
> This is the shortest chapter i've written so far (and i believe it woudl be the heaviest in dialogue), but i figured it would still be good to update it rather than force myself to continue writing something i wasn't happy with...
> 
> also, here are the first two kisses ! as i said, not exactly what you guys were probably hoping for... hmmmm

“Hey Karl, can I talk to you for a moment?”

It's the evening of the fourth day of Karl visiting Clay in Texas. He is casually just entering the dorm clinged to Nick’s arm when Clay decides they needed to talk. He has spent enough time arguing with himself and worrying non stop. He was sick of seeing how Karl was ignoring him to spend time with Nick, it was ridiculous, and that was going to end right then and there.

“Sure!”

Karl followed Clay into his bedroom, the latter closing the door while Karl sat on the bed. Clay wanted to sit too, but he decided to stand in front of Karl on his feet.

“What’s up with you and Nick?” His tone is not completely serious, more so irritated. Karl looks back at him confused, although his cheeks redden visibly, betraying his reply.

“What do you mean?”

Clay makes a sound with his mouth in disapproval.

“Karl, you know what I mean.”

Karl’s doe eyes looked right through Clay, barely holding some tears.

“I don’t.”

Silence. Both knew what that meant. This was not the first time it had happened, but Clay was still obviously worried, yet he could not say that was the only sentiment at the moment.

“It’s happening again, isn’t it?”

Karl didn't reply, his expression turning sour and filled with guilt, the type of look a dog gives their owner after they find a broken vase in the living room.

Karl has always had that problem. Well, it was not a problem in itself up until he started to act on those impulses... Clay knew this well, how not to after years of knowing each other. Karl would often get crushes. Harmless at first, but his infatuation usually ended with him getting hurt. Heartbreak after heartbreak, so normalized along the years that few friends tried to console Karl at all anymore.

Clay was one of the few that tried his best to cheer up his friend for a couple days... until he was once again running after another person’s heart.

An endless circle that Clay had advised Karl against about time and time again. It hurt him deeply: seeing his friend get attached so fast, rushing into a relationship without second thoughts at all, to realise within days that either the person he was with was trying to take advantage of him, or that they were simply not as enamored with him as he was with them.

Karl would pour all of himself into one single person, so quickly and brimming with hope, that he was left empty and miserable after a break up or a rejection.

Clay hated it. He hated not being able to help Kark other than picking up the pieces of his heart to try and reassemble them again. Talking with him and trying to give him advice had never truly worked. But this time… Clay felt something inside himself that was too heavy to ignore.

“Karl-”

“I am sorry, I really am.” He cut Clay quickly, voice quivering.

“That’s okay, listen... I know you don’t do it on purpose...” Clay was using the softest tone he could, but his crossed arms made Karl feel like he was getting lectured by his parents. “But you cannot keep doing this to yourself.”

Karl’s head was hanging low, he swallowed with difficulty.

“I know.”

“You’ve only been here four days Karl.”

“I know.” A tired sigh.

“He doesn’t like you _like that_.”

That made Karl raise his head as his eyebrows went up too. Odd...

“What did you just say?”

Clay was puzzled, but repeated himself.

“I said he doesn’t like you the same way you like him.”

Karl didn’t look sad anymore, his eyes were open in perplexity, tears gone, and a shy smile was starting to form in his lips.

“Clay, why are you angry?”

Clay took a moment to check his body language, straightening his back. He had a very menacing stance, arms crossed, fists curled (his knuckles were white, since when had he been applying so much strength?), his eyebrows were furrowed and his jaw hurt too from pressing his teeth together with force. He immediately relaxed his body, surprising himself from how much tension he had been accumulating.

“I am not angry.” He lied, although he did not know yet he was lying.

“Yes, you are!” Exclaimed Karl, bemused. “You’ve never said that before! You always talk about how I should take some time to get to know someone before asking them out, but you’ve never told me that someone doesn’t like me that harshly before!”

“Yes I have!”

“No, you haven’t!” Karl stood up, too quickly maybe, because he could feel his head spin slightly. The corner of his lips trembled upwards, he was clearly trying to contain laughter.

“Dude…” A giggle made its way out of Karl’s mouth. “Are you _jealous_?”

“I…”

Karl did not let him even finish his thoughts.

“Do you like _like_ Nick?”

Clay felt like a deer caught in the headlights.

Both of them looked at each other in complete silence, Karl barely being able to contain a big ugly cackle, and Clay reddening almost as Karl when he had mentioned Nick first.

Finally, after a moment that felt eternal, Clay covered his face, groaning, while he heard Karl laughing loudly and shamelessly.

“Karl, shut up, they are going to hear you!” He shushed his friend, muffled words because of his hands.

After Karl calmed down and Clay was able to compose himself, they shared a short silence who Karl broke abruptly.

“You know my crushes don't last a lot, so you don’t need to be jealous, he is all yours, man.”

“No, that’s not…” Clay _was_ jealous, there was no denying it now. But he also… “I missed you.” He finally let himself sit next to Karl, looking at him with weary eyes.

“I missed you too!” Karl smiled, beaming. He pulled Clay into a hug, the other hugging him back without a second thought.

“I had planned so many things to do together, but you seemed to be having fun with Nick, so I didn't want to be a killjoy.” Clay confessed, in a small voice, almost shy.

“Dude, no way!” Karl hugged him tighter. “I am sorry, I should have realised I was ditching you.”

“Yeah, you should have...” There was no bite in his tone and it made Karl giggle again.

“Ehehehe… So when do you plan on telling Nick?”

Clay separated himself from Karl, keeping his hands on the other’s arms.

“I don’t wanna think about it, to be honest…”

“What, why?”

“It’s….” _I am in love with George too._ “...complicated.”

“...spill the beans.” Should he? It was Karl, he wouldn't judge him, right? He looked away, nervous.

“I like them both.”

Realisation blossomed in Karl’s face (in Clay’s mind too, this was the first time he had said that out loud).

“Oh…” Karl looked around, confused once again, but not put off or critical. “That’s…” He furrowed his eyebrows. “...complicated, yeah.”

Clay was biting his lips, Karl sensed his nerves, and so he tried to fill the silence, softening his expression.

“I can’t say I get it, but I can imagine it’s hard to like… I don’t know... It’s kind of confusing, so you don’t get jealous if you see _them_ together?”

There it was.

“I do… if I am not included somehow… but even if I get jealous it’s… it’s not bad?” Whenever he saw George and Nick bickering, something about it made him smile. It made something warm creep up his torso from his stomach... with it, a bitter taste in his throat too when he realised Nick was approaching George, threatening the other playfully while showing his teeth in a mean smile. George would push him away, showing his tongue and threatening the other back with a spoon or any other object he had on his hands. Clay equality loved and envied their push and pull dynamic. “I’m not sure it is jealousy, I just feel sad because I wanna be involved in whatever they are doing.”

“That sounds like jealousy to me, you nimrod.”

“Man, I really don’t know, I just-” He let go of Karl’s arms to mess with his dirty blonde hair, scratching the back of his head. “I really like them. A lot.”

Karls nodded sadly, and hugged him again.

“Okay, you have plenty of time to get them to date you, but we only have a couple more days before I leave, you know? What did you have planned?”

With a big smile, Clay stood up quickly, rushing to pick a jacket.

“Get Nick and George! We’re going out right now!”

  
  


That night they went to play bowling together, and after they were done and came back to the apartment, Clay and Karl stayed up playing on the PS4 alone, falling asleep on each other’s arms on the couch.

.....

The following three days, Clay and Karl spent most of the time together. George joined them playing some games and one morning in which they tried baking brownies, while Nick decided to go out with them and drive them around, sharing interesting and fun facts about his city with Karl, the same ones he had told Clay when he had first arrived.

The day Karl left, it turned out to be a very weird day, but in a good way.

Karl left early in the morning. Nick teared up a bit while hugging Karl, who was asking George to promise not to forget about an online karaoke session he wanted to prepare with more friends. When Clay hugged him, he gave some extra squeezes, wishing Karl a safe trip and to call when he arrived home. Not a lot of tears were spilled since Clay himself was planning to go back to Florida in a couple of weeks for the New Year.

  
  


Once they all were back at the dorm, George left quickly again after picking up some things from his desk: he needed to hand in a project to one of his professors on campus and, with a “I’ll be back in a few!”, the entrance door was closed and Nick and Clay were left alone.

  
  


They sat down to work on some coding together in the living room, and after just a little while and a moment of weird tension, Nick suggested watching a movie.

Something about Karl’s visit had made them all strangely aware of what were the others’ feelings.

With Karl there, it was obvious that sharing clothes was not something really normal, sitting too close and cuddling was fine, but especially Clay and Nick took it to the extreme (and that was a lot considering Karl’s clinginess). Cooking for the others like George usually did, was not something most roommates would do either, and their schedules were somewhat synchronized in a way that there was always time for all of them to spend it together, be it talking on the couch calmly with some food, or animatedly playing games in their PCs after a couple drinks.

George, who had very recently become more open about approaching physically Nick and Dream, found himself holding his impulses back with Karl in the room. Would he find him weird? He was anxious about giving the wrong impression. Wrong impression? Was he not in love with Dream and Nick? Well, maybe he was, but nobody apart from him needed to know that.

Nick became very close to Karl fairly quickly, they both clicked instantly and he was comfortable with him. However, his crushing hugs and longing stares remained only for Dream and George, whenever he saw them endearingly doing chores around the house or simply yawning in the mornings while they came in the kitchen.

Clay, after having confessed his feelings for his roommates to Karl, felt more comfortable hugging Nick from the back, or leaning into George while the other was distracted, but he could feel the other two withdrawing from his touches, and he soon realised that Karl’s presence may have been the cause.

But now they were alone again, the self awareness of how close they always sat to each other started to make Clay’s face feel warm. Looking at Nick, he didn’t seem to be in a different position than him.

  
  


They didn’t bother picking a specific movie, too much anxiety in the air to care about it (Clay hands touched Nick’s accidentally while clearing up the coffee table, both glanced at the other for a couple seconds, their legs bumped against each other once they sat down… they had cuddled before, why did all these small touches feel so much more intense all of a sudden?).

Nick ended up with his head laying on Clay's shoulder, comfortably chewing some popcorn they had microwaved in a hurry.

At some point, Nick turned up and to the side to say something, while Clay was also turning and looking down to him.

Their faces were incredibly close in a matter of seconds, so so close. Nick licked his lips, catching Clay’s attention. Their noses were barely inches away, it would have been almost a crime not closing those inches apart and kissing the other softly.

The kiss lasted barely a few seconds, and when they separated, their eyes were as big as dishes. Nick was the first one who found his voice back.

“Oh shit.”

“I am sorry, holy fu-” Clay immediately reacted.

Nick stopped him abruptly, trying to apologize himself.

“No no, that was on me, sorry…”

They couldn’t look at each other, how could they? The warmth of their bodies were lost when they separated, Clay felt a shiver run down his spine as he heard gunshots coming from the movie playing on their TV, long forgotten.

“Is this… bad?”

Nick took a little to reply, but reuniting all the courage he could, he answered carefully with something that made Clay feel relieved.

“Not unless you want it to be?”

“I think…” Clay needed to tell him about George, he felt bad that they were doing this without him around, it felt almost as if he was being _unfaithful_ . Oh god, but what if Nick _didn’t_ want George around? He started to feel sick. “You know what? This never happened.”

Nick's face fell, he turned to Clay and the pained look he had made Clay regret ever saying that.

“What?”

“No, no… I meant…” Clay was so agitated, would it be a good idea to tell Nick? What if he laughed in his face and… He offered Nick his hand. “Can we take some time to think about this?”

“...What do you mean?” Nick looked at his hand with suspicion, but he took it anyway. Both their palms were starting to get sweaty. They were trembling a lot too, he noticed.

Nick was tempted to ask if it was because of George… because it was the same for him. He also wanted to talk about everything when George was present.

“I just think we should think a little more about this, you know?” Nick nodded slowly. He was sure about his feelings, but he couldn’t say the same for Dream for what he looked like. “Can we pretend this didn’t happen? Just for now.” Clay clarified quickly.

Nick sighed. He learnt this from George, _patience_.

“Just for now.” He repeated with a small smile.

Dream sighed deeply, shoulders lowering in relief.

“Thank you.”

The film kept playing, but neither of them were actually watching, their thoughts a galaxy away from where their bodies were.

They weren’t cuddling anymore, but Nick’s hand was still on Dreams, loosely holding it.

.....

The next day, while Clay had had to leave the apartment for an exam, Nick was cooking in the kitchen, George messing around with his laptop in the living room while he waited for the younger to finish preparing breakfast.

Nick had been thinking about the kiss with Dream, and there he saw an opportunity to try and talk with George, eager to see the reaction the older would have.

“Something funny happened yesterday.” He started, singsonging.

“Surprise me.” Replied back George with an uninterested voice, not even turning around to look at Nick.

“Dream and I kissed!”

Nick was pretending to focus on the bacon he was frying, but he was looking from the corner of his eye at George's reaction. He had stopped typing, were his hands shaking? It was hard to tell from Nick's position, the island counter between the kitchen and the living room and the back of the sofa, partially covering his vision of George.

“How’s that funny?” Was the dry reply George gave, continuing to type like nothing had happened, his voice devoid of apparently any emotion.

Nick was taken aback, he had expected another reaction. Maybe a joke and a playful argument, a disgusted face at worst.

“Uh... Well, we were just cuddling and we turned around to say something at the same time, and it happened! It was by accident!” And he laughed, but his giggles receded as he didnt hear George laughing with him.

George wasn’t talking, that was a very bad sign.

“Hey, are you jealous or something?” He tried to tease him to get a reaction out of the British. “I’m sure if you ask, Dream will kiss you too.” And he giggled again, clearly forced.

George stood up at once without muttering a word, closing his laptop with force, face unreadable. Nick paled and turned off the kitchen, bacon almost burnt in the pan.

“Are you angry?” He approached George slowly. The brunet was rolling some cables and cleaning the coffee table. Rarely if never any of them cleaned the coffee table, especially not George.

“I’m peachy.” He spat looking directly at Nick, dead eyes. His hands were shaking, Nick could see them shaking like crazy, grabbing with force some cables. He was either infuriated, or about to have a breakdown.

They were less than half a foot away. George wasn’t moving, he was standing still, hands holding some cables; his back straight and chin up, stare nailed on Nick’s confused expression. He only took that position when he was very angry, trying to pick up a fight, Nick knew this one well.

But Nick wasn’t looking for a fight, it was the complete opposite. How did Dream tell him to de-escalate situations like those? He couldn’t think, he was starting to panic. He didn’t mean for George to get so angry, maybe a little jealous? But he just wanted to see his reaction, oh God, he was about to fuck it up again, he knew that; yet he still rose his hands to hold George’s cheeks.

The brunet looked taken aback, eyes opening in realization as he saw Nick’s face approaching his. George felt his cheeks burn, and not only because of Nick's soft and warm hands holding them.

Oh no, Nick’s face was too close, too close, too close- his eyes went down directly to the taller’s lips. Nick caught the action, and seeing that George wasn’t pulling away, he got a little more close, to the point his black wavy bangs were slightly tickling George’s forehead and they both could feel the other’s breathing. Their eyes were almost closed.

George’s bottom lip was trembling, was he scared? Why was he scared? He didn’t get to question and dwell on his thoughts more because Nick was kissing him. Their lips barely pressed, so it could hardly be called a kiss, although something about it alleviated George’s nerves.

It probably didn’t last more than a few seconds, neither of them could tell, but as soon as Nick started to separate, George realised his hands had dropped the cables he was holding a moment ago, and were now grabbing onto Nick’s arms. He promptly let him go, and it pissed him off the small smile the younger was giving him.

“Don’t be jealous, alright?” Nick said with strength in his voice, but George could tell he was fearful by how his hands were pulling at his own hoodie. “I know I’m not Dream, but…” _What?_ “...whatever.”

Nicks turned around, already going back to the burnt bacon cooling down in the pan, so he didn’t get to see George’s astonished expression. Did Nick think he was only interested in Dream? That couldn’t be right, he didn’t push Nick away, he was sure the Texan knew that if he had been upset, he would have pushed him away.

All of George’s thoughts got stuck in his throat, tongue tied.

“Let’s not talk about this just now, yeah?” Nick got him out of his thoughts. He wasn’t looking at him in the eye, and George could see him anxiously trying to find the dish with the eggs to put the bacon in. He almost tripped while going to the kitchen table and, once everything was in place, Nick looked around before looking at George directly. “You don’t… want to eat?”

George nodded looking away quickly, still trying to process what had happened, but his stomach was starting to demand some sustenance, so he figured they could leave serious talks for later.

He sat down and sipped at his coffee while Nick took a long sip from his.

Once they finished, Nick went back to their shared bedroom to work on a code for an assignment, while George went back to the living room.

They didn’t talk for the rest of the day, and when Clay came back, they both pretended to be busy. Clay assumed it was _one of those days_ in which they had gotten into a dumb argument while he was away, he only hopped it wouldn’t last too long and that he wouldn’t have to intervene for them to talk and make amends.

That night George fell asleep on the sofa, and Nick stayed up all night distracting himself on CSGO.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't think i've said this before, but i do have an outline for this story already written, i just have to sit down and write everything ahahaha, there is gonna be 10 chapters in total so we have 4 chapters left to go now !
> 
> no idea when i will be able to post the next chapter, but it shouldn't take as long as this one... let's say one month at max ? hopefully it's less than that lol
> 
> thank again to everybody still reading ! and apologies again for the delay, it's the first time i'm writing a long fic and i'm not the best at time management ^^'


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